Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary society, many people argue that primary schools focus too much on a oriented study system in a organized environment. I strongly agree whith this statement. I also believe it is very important for children to play as well.

At present, our education has become too much dependent on formnal education. There are curriculums set up fortstudents of every class. This systems compels student to learn in a organised and controlled environment with pre-planned syllabus within a specific timeline. Just after admission, students are rushed to prepare for their exams. Many people argue that such a controlled environment is essential for the development of children. However this system tramples over the growth of childrens. Due to having syllabus that needs to be completed within a certain period, that syllabus becomes the only source of knowledge for students. It stops their minds from developing and confines them within a system. Children cannot achieve knowledge about anything outside their syllabus which hinders their overall development.

Aside from learning children are now also getting distant from playing or physical games. They are too focused on their studies and academic compettition, children now don't bother playing. But playing and engaging in outdoor activities are as equally important for children as learning. Playing can help develop a children physically. Aside from physical benifits it can also help children to learn noble qualities like leadership,sportsmanship and fairness. When playing there exists no seggregation among the children. These qualities can help build character in childrens. Too much strees while their brain are still developing can cause mental issues later in life.

In my oponion, a curriculum is needed to teach students systemitacally but focuing too much can be counterproductive. Playing is also very important for a child's physical and moral development. Children should be handled with care not put in a system where their minds will be limited to outside knowledge as well as activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that formal learning is overemphasised, and you address both the effects of a tightly controlled curriculum and the value of play. The points about restricted learning beyond the syllabus and play fostering physical development, leadership and fairness are relevant. This covers the task well, but some ideas are more fully explained than others. For example, you claim that syllabus-focused teaching “stops their minds from developing,” but do not explain how this happens or give a concrete example. The mental-health point is also introduced briefly without support. To strengthen the response, develop these claims with a classroom example or a clearer explanation, and clarify how play can be incorporated alongside structured learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, the first body paragraph discusses formal study, the second focuses on play, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Aside from,” and “In my opinion” help signal the direction of the argument. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The shift from the curriculum’s limits to children’s overall development is asserted rather than fully linked, and the sentence beginning “Aside from learning children are now also getting distant…” is awkwardly connected to the next point. There is also some repetition of “children” and “important.” Use clearer topic sentences and more precise referencing, and make each paragraph’s ideas progress step by step.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “controlled environment,” “overall development,” “leadership,” “sportsmanship,” and “counterproductive.” These choices help communicate the main argument and show attempts to use topic-specific language. However, noticeable spelling errors and inaccurate word forms reduce precision, including “formnal,” “benifits,” “seggregation,” “strees,” and “systemitacally.” Some collocations are also unnatural, such as “a oriented study system,” “getting distant from playing,” and “noble qualities.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall message, but they make parts of it less fluent. Check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships; for example, describe children as becoming “less engaged in play” rather than “getting distant from playing.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause in “Due to having syllabus that needs to be completed within a certain period…” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to follow. Examples include “This systems compels student,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “Playing can help develop a children physically,” which has an incorrect article and noun form. The sentence “Too much strees while their brain are still developing can cause mental issues” also has unclear reference and agreement. Practise accurate singular and plural forms, articles, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.