Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, few individuals think that elementary schools are focusing much only on schooling. I completely agree with this view because junior schools have scheduled the classes from 9 AM to 2 PM, which can be hectic for children. It is very important for children to have enough time to play along with their studies, becuase in this way they can learn better.

In many countries, the primary schools mostly concentrate on just formal learning. They didn't give students enough time for other activities, which can help them to feel relax and energetic. Many schools have strict scheduled classes, where students only learn through traditional methods. For almost 5 hours, they remain sitted in their classrooms and get only 15 to 20 minutes break, where they can just do their lunch. At the end of the day, the students don't have enough energy and struggle to focus on their studies.

For the better development of children, it is very essential for them to play and learn together. It doesn't mean that they should study for 3 hours and then play for next 3 hours. Students should be engaged in class through different activities, such as learning through craft designing, puzzles etc. These activities help students to learn quickly and they don't feel exhausted. When students learn through activities where they can play as well, it will boost their productivity and creativity. They will remain energetic and refresh for the whole day.

In conclusion, the students in primary schools are at the stage where they need a proper guidance as well as a stress free enviornment for their better growth. It highly depends on schools, how they manage their classes for their betterment. Schools should focus on their learning through engaging methods where they can play while studying. It will increase their focus, self-confidence and productivity, which helps them a lot in their adult age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools can overemphasise formal learning, and you address both the need for play and how it can be combined with study. The examples of craft activities and puzzles help explain your proposal, while the long classroom day illustrates why children may lose focus. This meets the task well, but the support is not equally developed: the claim that schools in “many countries” concentrate on formal learning is broad, and the timetable example is not linked to a specific context or evidence. The benefits of play are listed—creativity, productivity and energy—but could be explained more fully through a concrete example of how an activity improves learning. More precise support would strengthen the argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop the problem and a solution, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, especially from limited breaks to reduced concentration, and then to activity-based learning. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “For the better development of children” is a broad transition, and “It highly depends on schools” does not clearly specify what “it” refers to. Repetition of “students,” “learning” and “activities” also makes parts of the response less fluid. To improve, use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports, while varying transitions rather than relying on repeated sentence patterns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “traditional methods,” “engaged,” “creativity” and “self-confidence,” which allows you to discuss both classroom routines and children’s development. Some choices are imprecise or unnatural, however, such as “focusing much only on schooling,” “feel relax,” “sitted,” and “remain energetic and refresh.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, although the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Spelling slips such as “becuase” and “enviornment” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check word forms and spelling carefully. More precise expressions for school routines and the benefits of play would help you communicate your ideas with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “where” and “which,” and most ideas remain understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly in verb forms and sentence construction. For example, “They didn't give students” shifts into the past when the paragraph describes a general situation, while “It doesn't mean that they should study for 3 hours and then play for next 3 hours” is missing an article before the second “next” phrase. The sentence beginning “It highly depends on schools, how they manage” also has an awkward clause connection. Continue practising consistent present-tense descriptions, articles and the construction of embedded clauses. Greater accuracy across these structures would make the argument smoother.

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