Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that elementary schools are focused too much on formal learning as compared to other activities in classrooms. Although I accept that providing formal learning is important but I disagree with only aiming for one thing and do not providing environment which will be beneficial for playing and learning as well.

There is a strong reason why I agree with this view because it is also crucial for primary school students to do formal learning. It will keep you on track and motivated. For example learning about communication will open the doors of opportunities in a different aspects of life. In addition, how to deliver your message. For this reason I would be wrong to dismiss with this view entirely.

However, it does not mean that I completely aggree with this view. Because keeping away children from there social life will be stressfull, that's why providing some entertainment to students is also important. For example if a student go to school at 7 am in the morning and learning for 8 hourse without any break they will burnout and even they can't be able to focus on something. That's why I disagree with this view. Now a days, schools has the facilities of providing education with entertainment e.g learning through cartoons and through other animations.

In conclusion, arguing about primary school students education curriculum formal learning is also important but with other activities to make the students tie to the school and don't feel overwhelmed such as using technology.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the value of formal learning and the importance of play, and your position is broadly that children need both. The example of a long school day without breaks supports your point that play and rest help children avoid burnout. However, the position is not consistently expressed: the opening says you disagree with focusing on only one thing, while the next paragraph says “I agree with this view” and then argues for formal learning. This makes it unclear whether you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning. Several ideas, such as learning communication and using cartoons, are mentioned but not explained in enough detail. State your degree of agreement clearly and develop each example to show how play complements learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with a recognisable contrast between formal study and play. Linking phrases such as “In addition,” “However” and “In conclusion” help signal the structure. Nevertheless, progression is weakened by the contradictory opening of the second paragraph (“There is a strong reason why I agree with this view”) and the later claim that you disagree. Some connections are also unclear: “For this reason I would be wrong to dismiss with this view entirely” does not clearly follow from the example, and the conclusion introduces technology without fully tying it to the argument. Organise the body around one clear position, and use references and transitions that make the relationship between each example and your main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “social life,” “burnout,” “entertainment” and “education with entertainment.” These choices make the general subject understandable, and you attempt some more specific expressions such as “open the doors of opportunities.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, including “dismiss with this view,” “tie to the school” and “in a different aspects of life.” Spelling errors such as “aggree,” “stressfull” and “hourse” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of collocations for schooling and child development, and check spelling and word forms. For example, use “dismiss this view,” “keep students engaged” and “in different aspects of life.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example about a student studying for eight hours and a contrast introduced by “Although.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “Although I accept … but I disagree” combines two contrasting structures incorrectly; “if a student go … they will burnout” has subject–verb agreement and clause-consistency problems; and “schools has” should use a plural verb. Sentence fragments such as “In addition, how to deliver your message” also interrupt the argument. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement, verb forms and punctuation.

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