Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is a considerable argument over primary schools emphasizing too much on formal education. I strongly agree with this opinion and believe that children should focus not only on learning but on playing also during their primary school days.

Educational institutes tend to prioritize formal learning from an earlier age even though the young minds are not usually prepared for such kind of learning. It can put pressure on a child's brain as well as make them bored easily of the learning process. Moreover, the effort, attention, and time needed to put into learning new things academically could deprive the kid of other physical activities that are necessary for a child's physical and mental development. For instance, if a kid spends 3/4 hours in the school and after returning they need to complete their homework and other projects, they might get tired and get less time to play or get engaged with other children.

In order to develop the young minds, learning in schools should be more playful than formal. Teachers can enact and teach the students while telling and acting out stories. This can make the learning more enjoyable than just reading the books. Furthermore, the authorities can include playtime for the children in daily routines, and teachers can also create groups and play with the kids while teaching.

In conclusion, there are schools that focus too much on formal learning from earlier days. Changing the curriculum to include playful activities or making the learning interactive can encourage the children to be more enthusiastic about academic learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you strongly agree that formal learning is overemphasised, and you address both the effects of academic pressure and the value of play. The examples of homework reducing time for physical activity and teachers using stories or group activities are relevant. This meets the task well, but the two parts are not developed equally: the drawbacks of formal learning receive more explanation, while the importance of play is mainly asserted through suggested classroom activities. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how play supports learning and development—for example, by building cooperation, creativity, or problem-solving—and connect that explanation to your view on how much classroom time should be devoted to play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: it introduces your position, explains concerns about formal learning, proposes playful approaches, and concludes with a recommendation. Paragraphing supports this structure, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. The progression is generally logical, though some connections between claims could be made more explicit. For example, the paragraph about pressure and reduced activity could lead more directly into why play is important, rather than leaving that relationship for the next paragraph. The conclusion also repeats the central recommendation without fully drawing together the reasons. Use a few more precise links between cause, consequence, and benefit, while avoiding reliance on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling and child development, including “prioritize,” “physical and mental development,” “curriculum,” and “interactive.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and you attempt some more formal expressions. However, several collocations and word choices are awkward or imprecise, such as “emphasizing too much on formal education,” “bored easily of the learning process,” and “enact and teach the students.” Repetition of “learning,” “children,” and “play” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural academic combinations and more precise terms for the benefits of play, such as social skills or problem-solving. This would make the argument sound more fluent and controlled without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning “even though” and “if,” and most sentences communicate their meaning clearly. There are some grammatical errors, but they rarely obstruct understanding. For example, “the effort, attention, and time needed to put into learning” has an unclear construction, and “after returning they need to complete” shifts from a hypothetical “if a kid spends” to a less consistent verb form. In “there are schools that focus too much … from earlier days,” the time reference is also unclear. Review sentence patterns after long subjects, maintain consistent conditional forms, and check articles and prepositions. Greater accuracy across these structures would make your varied sentences more assured.

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