Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Primary school is one of the first educational stages in a young student's life. It builds the pillar of learning in this stage. From here, students recieve foundational education. Some people claim that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I agree to this to a large extent.

The basics of learning start from primary schools. Children not only gain education they also start attaining life lessons. It is quite important for them to understand the values of morality at this age. Putting too much pressure on the academic side, which is formal learning, makes the students fearful of making mistakes. Not all the students have the same learning capability, so when they observe others doing academically well, some students lose motivation. Hence, it is equally important for children to play together in their young age.

Playing together instills many character lessons such as teamwork, leadership, graceful behaviour, sharing, which is hard to attain through formal learning. When students participate in team sports they achieve confidence and the drive to win. It is crucial to let them have a separate time for playing after a period of learning. Continuous learning can make them grow bored of the curriculum and overwhelm their minds. Physical movement can help them get rid of lethargic mindset.

Moreover, playing can be indirectly educational as well. For example, conversing in English can be turned into a game of dialogues between two students. This way, they will be able to learn something new everyday. Certain quiz competitions on fun topics can also be arranged with exciting prizes.

In conclusion, I think primary schools put too much pressure on young students by focusing more on formal learning. I am not deying the importance of this. But playing is equally important. Especially, nowadays the playgrounds are dissolving and children are not getting enough space to play. In their classrooms, playing while learning will keep them motivated and excited to learn new things everyday.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction—“I agree to this to a large extent”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both the concern about formal learning and the importance of play, supporting your view with relevant points about motivation, teamwork, confidence and physical movement. The examples of dialogue games and quizzes also show how play can support learning. This is a well-focused response with ideas extended and supported. To strengthen it further, develop some claims with more specific explanation: for instance, explain how observing stronger classmates can reduce motivation, or give a concrete example of a classroom activity and its learning benefit. A few statements, such as playgrounds “dissolving,” are broad and would benefit from clarification.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs developing the effects of formal learning and the benefits of play, a practical example, and a conclusion. The progression from the pressure of academic work to social and educational benefits of play is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Hence,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships between ideas. However, some connections are a little mechanical, and the relationship between the paragraph about teamwork and the later examples of games could be made more explicit. The sentence beginning “The basics of learning start from primary schools” also repeats the introductory idea rather than advancing the argument. More precise referencing and smoother links between examples would make the organisation feel more consistently controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “foundational education,” “teamwork,” “leadership,” “motivation,” and “physical movement.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “graceful behaviour” and “lethargic mindset,” although these are not always natural in context. Some word choices and collocations reduce precision: “builds the pillar of learning” is awkward, “achieve confidence” is less idiomatic than “gain confidence,” and “playgrounds are dissolving” does not clearly express the intended idea. Spelling slips such as “recieve,” “deying,” and “everyday” where “every day” is intended are also noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause in “Putting too much pressure on the academic side … makes the students fearful of making mistakes” and a conditional structure in “when they observe others doing academically well.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and errors rarely obstruct understanding. Some grammatical issues remain, however. In “Children not only gain education they also start attaining life lessons,” the two clauses need clearer punctuation or a conjunction. “It is crucial to let them have a separate time for playing” has an awkward grammatical pattern, and “In their classrooms, playing while learning will keep them motivated” has an unclear opening reference. Review clause boundaries, sentence openings and article use to make your varied structures more consistently accurate.

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