Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few people believe that education system focus on the formal learning very much. I disagree with this statement and i think that primary school play an important role in the children's learning and they are very best in maintaining a balanced routine between entertainment and education. Almost every primary school have a timetable for the classes in which students have a time, allocated for lunch break and drill break in which they can play gossip and enjoy. Moreover, most of the primary school celebrate different events and special days for example national day and parents day, in which students are can participate and there is no study on that day

For children health entertainment is very important. Firstly because it keep the students healthy and fresh. On the opposite side those students who only prefer studying often end up with physocological diseases like depression, tension and anxiaty. While on the other hand those students who are involved in the sports and different physical activities are not only physcially fit but they are mentally very strong. Secondly sports also offer certain career opportunities for example students, who are good in the sports are selected by thier national sports teams and they serve for their country at high level.

On the other hand formal learning is very much important, because It create a lot of opportunities and skills, So the students and primary school both must follow a balance schedule so they can maximize the benefits of both formal learning and physical fitness.

In conclusion primary school are playing very much important role in the formal learning of the children while maintaining their healtha and fitness

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall position by disagreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you address both learning and play. The examples of breaks, school events and sports opportunities are relevant. However, the response only partly develops the central claim: breaks and special days do not establish how much classroom time is devoted to formal learning, and the point about sports careers is not closely connected to the importance of play for most primary pupils. Your conclusion repeats the position but does not draw together the reasons. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how play supports learning—for example, through cooperation, problem-solving or improved concentration—and support your view with a specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about health and sports, a contrasting point about formal learning, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is uneven: the first paragraph combines timetables, breaks and school events without clearly linking them to the question of formal classroom learning, while the final body paragraph is very brief. Some linking is mechanical, and “On the opposite side” followed by “While on the other hand” creates confusing, repetitive contrast. Use one accurate transition at a time, organise each paragraph around a clear main point, and make references such as “those students” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “timetable,” “physical activities,” “career opportunities” and “physical fitness.” This is enough to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “play gossip” does not clearly express the intended activity, and “physocological diseases” is both misspelled and an unsuitable phrase for the examples that follow. Repeated use of “very much important” also weakens precision. Aim for natural combinations such as “take part in recreational activities” and “mental health problems,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish classroom play from sport and general entertainment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “students, who are good in the sports,” and a reason clause beginning “because.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include subject–verb agreement (“education system focus,” “primary school have”), missing or incorrect articles and plurals (“the primary school,” “the children's learning”), and faulty verb forms (“students are can participate,” “it keep”). Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: the opening paragraph contains a long sentence joined with “Moreover” but lacks clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using controlled clauses. Proofread for agreement, articles and complete verb phrases.

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