Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many argues on how primary schools lean to much on formal learning. Which is quite right in many sense, as our societies have emerged over time, lifestyles have changed too. Most schools still only focusing on how children can finish the curtain coursework in an year. which leads to exchaution and makes learning less fun. Children's minds are shaped in away that they learn more with what they see and experience means that basically include physical activities and for this particular reason, it is the most important thing for children to play as well as learn in classrooms.

Loading children with bookish learning does not have leave much lasting impressions on their mind. For example, teaching children about sharing is caring through just reading the chapter would not makes children fully understand it but when children in play ground share a ball with their classmate and teacher telling why it is important to make sure everyone has a chance to play, giving this practical examples with letting them play makes them remember it more. And also where and how to use these learnings.

Giving children various options and introducing them with various different activities to learn a lesson can make learning fun. In this way they are not burdened with only bookish learning but they takes it much lighter. For example, teaching children with basic hygiene can be boring if teacher just lecture them on what to do and what not to but creating environment that children percieve it as they are playing in classroom for this particular lesson they are more likely to learn in faster.

In conclusion, It is been said that changing the way children learn at school needs to shift from only focusing on formal learning but it should lean more towards how they can learn better, faster and leaves lasting impressions on them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: you agree that schools can overemphasise formal learning, and you explain why play should accompany classroom learning. Your examples about sharing a ball and learning hygiene through activities are relevant and help show how practical experience can reinforce lessons. The conclusion also restates your view. This meets the task well, with some of the next level’s clear position and relevant support already present. However, the argument is not fully developed: the opening claim about changing lifestyles is not connected clearly to the issue, and the hygiene example explains engagement more than why play is important. Develop each example by explicitly linking it to children’s understanding, motivation, or social development, and state more precisely how much you agree.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with examples, and a conclusion. The examples generally follow the points they are intended to support, so the reader can follow the main argument. However, progression within and between sentences is sometimes unclear or mechanical. For instance, “Which is quite right” is a fragment, while “And also where and how to use these learnings” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence. Repeated openings such as “For example” and “In this way” also make linking feel formulaic. Use complete sentences, make pronoun references explicit, and organise each body paragraph around one clear claim followed by explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “lasting impressions,” and “basic hygiene,” and the examples make your meaning generally understandable. There are also attempts to express ideas beyond basic classroom terms. However, the range and control are uneven, with noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation problems: “curtain coursework,” “exchaution,” “in away,” and “perceive it as they are playing” are unclear or unnatural. Repetition of “children,” “learning,” and “bookish learning” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “complete the required coursework,” “become exhausted,” and “learn through hands-on activities.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses with “when” and “if,” and the main message is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, verb forms, and articles sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. Examples include “Many argues,” “Most schools still only focusing,” “would not makes,” and “it is been said.” The opening also contains a sentence fragment beginning “Which,” and “In conclusion, It” has incorrect capitalisation after the comma. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and finite verb, and check agreement and verb forms during editing. More accurate control of these patterns is needed alongside your attempts at complex sentences.

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