Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The primary schools are more focus on formal learning, because they teachese childrens to develop, their brain and to train them from small age.

I agree with this opinion because they provide them learning environment, but I think they have to also focuse on learning as will as because in the age of 3 to 10 brain are more hunger to learn. Now a days childrens are more intallengant and guniess than, the others genernations. According to scientise up-comeing generations are Knologable and fast then others. so, I think it is important to childrens to play and as will as learning in the primary scholls and make that kind of environment for small childrens in classrooms.

When i was child i do not get the that kind of environment where i learn in primary school classroom, where i learn or play, due to that i fell less intanegant or knowledgeable than others and also impact on my communication skills. Rather than focuseing only on formal learning, they should focus on playing and Academic lerning also. If the primary schools fouse on both for childrens, it will be more benefit for both children and parents because parents do not fouse on childrens developments. Lack of time parents are begge on thire work, they not abile to give time their childe to help in thire brain developments.

In my childhoode i do not get that kind of learning environment, which impact on my brain development, knowledge, and communication with others. It is more important to fouse on formal learning as well as on academic learning , playing for childrens in primary schools and in classroom. Which will be more benifictale. for kind to develop brain and others activities in small age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear general view that children should have opportunities to play as well as learn, and you offer a relevant personal example about your own primary-school experience. You also explain that play may support communication and development, so the response addresses both the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. However, the position is not consistently precise: the opening says schools focus on formal learning, while later you say they should focus on “playing and Academic lerning also,” without clearly distinguishing formal learning from academic learning. Several claims, such as children being “more intelligent” in newer generations, are asserted rather than explained or supported. Develop a few relevant reasons in more detail and make your view explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has separate paragraphs and a broadly recognisable movement from your opinion to personal experience and a concluding statement. However, ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression, and the same point about your childhood experience and its effects is repeated in the third and final paragraphs. Connections between claims are often unclear: for example, the discussion of newer generations being more knowledgeable does not lead clearly into the argument for classroom play. Linking phrases such as “because,” “rather than,” and “also” are used, but they do not always show the precise relationship between ideas. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, avoid repeating the same example, and use clearer references and transitions to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “learning environment,” “communication skills,” and “brain development.” These phrases show an effort to discuss children’s learning and development, but the overall range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make parts difficult to understand, such as “intallengant,” “guniess,” and “benifictale.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, including “brain are more hunger to learn” and “parents are begge on thire work.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Reusing a smaller set of clear terms is more effective than attempting words whose meaning or form is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns and make some attempts to connect clauses with “because,” “when,” and “which.” However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “The primary schools are more focus” has an incorrect verb construction, while “in the age of 3 to 10 brain are” lacks accurate article and agreement forms. The sentence beginning “Which will be more…” is also a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.

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