Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most people believe that primary schools focus too much on learning. In my opinion, children should play as well as learn in the primary school classroom, because it is very important for the development of a child.

Some people think that primary schools focus too much on formal learning because the learning of a child starts at the early age. Furthermore, if teachers do not focus on the learning of a child in the early age, he will not adapt the habit of learning. We can easily improve the mistakes of a child in the early age because its the time of learning. Moreover, some people argue that we can strong the base of a child in the early age, so it really it's really crucial that primary schools should focus on the formal learning of a child. For example, in Pakistan, a large number of parents admit their child in that schools who's primary focus is on the formal learning of children.

It is very essential for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. Some people believe that if schools only focus on the learning of a child they will get sick and bored after sometime. Constantly studying without physical activity makes children lethargic. It's very crucial that children should participate in non- curricular activities to stay active for a long time. Some schools believe that play is very important for the physical and mental health of the child. Additionally, schools should focus on both learning and play, and they should introduce some games that include learning. For example, in China, they teach their students with practical activities such as they show fruits to the students to learn the names of color.

To conclude, formal learning is very important especially in the primary schools, although I believe that children should play as well as study in the primary schools classroom. It is very important for the physical and mental well being of a child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and state a relevant position: children should learn and play, with play supporting their physical and mental development. The examples about parents in Pakistan and practical activities in China also relate to the topic. However, the response does not fully resolve the tension in the first question: you explain why early formal learning matters, but give limited explanation of whether primary schools actually focus on it too much. Several points are asserted rather than developed, such as the claim that children will become sick or bored without play. To strengthen the response, make your degree of agreement explicit and explain each main reason with a clearer cause-and-effect link or a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. The second body paragraph focuses on play, while the first discusses early formal learning, so the reader can follow the broad topic development. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear because the first paragraph presents reasons to prioritise formal learning without directly connecting them to your view that schools focus too much on it. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “Moreover,” and “Additionally” are used repeatedly, sometimes to add similar points rather than show a precise relationship. Improve cohesion by organising each paragraph around one clear claim, then explaining and illustrating it, and use pronouns and transitions that make the links between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical activity,” “non-curricular activities,” and “physical and mental health.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “adapt the habit of learning” and “strong the base,” but these combinations are not natural and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Repetition of “very important,” “early age,” and “child” also limits the range and precision of the vocabulary. Aim to use more accurate collocations and vary repeated terms; for example, describe building a “strong foundation” and developing “effective study habits.” Proofreading would also help catch the duplicated phrase “it really it's really crucial.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if teachers do not focus… he will not adapt” and a concession in the conclusion beginning “although.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur frequently enough to affect fluency. Examples include “the learning of a child starts at the early age,” “its the time,” and “they show fruits to the students to learn the names of color.” There are also problems with agreement and reference, as in “schools… they will get sick,” where the pronoun does not clearly refer to children. Work on articles, possessives, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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