Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some people belives that, primary schools more concern about formal learning system. i agree with this, as it prepare students for future task achievement .howevers, students should play along with learning to increase physical strength.

on the one hand, More focus on formal knowlege build ability for higher task achievemnt. at hihger eductaionl level. Primary school children should have knowldege of basic sciences and math . For instance in pakistan , every primary school has approperite pattern according to age and grade of children .Through this way students are more punctual and well organised in behaviour to cope knowlede.

On the other hand , primary schoolclass room should have program for playing which increase physcial and mental strenght of students. The stuents are involving in I Q RELATED GAMES prepared by teachers has possitive empact on cognitive skills .for instance puzzle solving ,words searching . Nowadays many primary schools are having specific period for extra circular activities such as footballs, cricket and table tennis.Which increase physical strength of students and improve health.

in conclusion, primary school should focus on formal learning pattern for providing and preparing for higher eduction along with pysical and mental activities for helath and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question: you agree that primary schools give substantial attention to formal learning, and you also explain why play matters. The examples of basic science and mathematics, puzzle-solving, and sports are relevant. However, the position is not fully clear: the opening says formal learning prepares students for the future, while the conclusion again prioritises it without explaining how much emphasis is excessive. Most ideas are asserted rather than developed—for example, the claim that formal study makes pupils “punctual and well organised” needs explanation or evidence. The response also falls 52 words short of the required minimum, limiting the space available to develop and support your views. Explain the balance you recommend and extend each example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “on the one hand” and “on the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the contrast between formal study and play. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and links between claims and examples are abrupt. For instance, the point about basic subjects moves quickly to punctuality and behaviour without showing the connection. Some linking is mechanical, and punctuation around transitions—such as “table tennis.Which”—interrupts the flow. The conclusion is also unfinished, ending with “health and,” so it does not bring the argument to a complete close. Use clearer topic sentences, explain how examples support each claim, and check that every paragraph and sentence is complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “formal learning,” “cognitive skills,” “puzzle solving,” and “physical strength.” These choices make the main topic understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to read, such as “knowlege,” “eductaionl,” “approperite,” and “empact.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “higher task achievement” and “cope knowledge” do not clearly express the intended meaning, while “I Q RELATED GAMES” is not an appropriate academic expression. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and consistent spelling. For example, describe preparation for “further education” and say that activities “develop cognitive skills” rather than relying on unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and more developed structures, including “as it prepare students for future task achievement” and a sentence describing games “prepared by teachers.” However, control is inconsistent, and frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Subject–verb agreement is faulty in “it prepare” and “games … has,” while sentence boundaries and punctuation are often problematic, as in “at hihger eductaionl level” and “table tennis.Which.” The final sentence is incomplete, ending with “health and,” and several clauses lack a clear grammatical structure. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, checking agreement and articles, and using full stops to separate ideas. More accurate control of basic structures will make your argument easier to follow.

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