Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, primary schools are focusing too much on formal learning which has become a matter of considerable debate. While some peoples considered that secondary schools are better for formal learning, others argue that primary schools are suitable as it guides students thoroughly. From my perspective, I strongly believe that primary schools are playing a vital role in the development of youngsters, as they focused on formal type of education.

One of the primary causes of formal learning is that teachers and students remained in contact with eachother and it build confidence in young generation to interact with others. However, institutes that focus on formal studies assit students to take part in extra curriculum activities, which is as crucial as formal learning. Moreover, primary schools has a significant impact on society as it encourage a student to be more effective and in understanding the basic terms. Accroding to a recent study, almost 60% of schools in Pakistan is promoting the concept of formal studies from primary level. One of the major reason is that formal education can teaches students a basic way of being well-mannered and other principles of Islamic religion.

One of the other concerns related to primary education is that it helps to improves physical activies of students, as it provides various kinds of sports in schools. Apart from studies, playing time is also beneficial for learners lives, as it can boosts thier energy and assists them to be more active in schools. For instance, when I was a student I used to took part in sports and other activities, which is now helping me alot.

Ultimately, clear evidence suggests that primary schools have to focus on both education and physicals activities of a student. Therefore, proper attention should be givven by the authorities regarding this issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a general position that primary schools should provide formal education while also making room for physical activity, and you include a personal example about taking part in sports. However, the response only partially answers the two questions. It does not clearly state how far you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning; instead, it shifts to arguing that formal education is valuable. The importance of play is mentioned, but its benefits are mostly asserted rather than explained, and the discussion of Islamic principles and the Pakistan statistic does not clearly support the central argument. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement directly and develop a few relevant reasons with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Apart from studies” and “Ultimately” help signal movement between points. However, progression is not consistently clear because several ideas are placed together without showing how they support the main position. For example, the paragraph moves from interaction and confidence to extracurricular activities, social impact and religious principles. The repeated opening “One of the…” also makes the organisation feel formulaic, while references such as “this issue” in the conclusion are vague. Group related ideas into focused paragraphs and use clearer links between claims, explanations and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “development,” “physical activities” and “extra curriculum activities,” and you attempt more formal phrasing such as “a matter of considerable debate.” This gives you enough range to communicate the general subject. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear: “improves physical activities” and “formal type of education” are examples. Spelling errors such as “Accroding,” “assit” and “thier” are also noticeable. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for instance, describe how play “supports physical development” rather than saying it improves activities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “While some…” and a reason clause with “as.” This shows some range, and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement and sentence construction recur. Examples include “primary schools has,” “it encourage,” “formal education can teaches,” and “I used to took part.” There are also tense inconsistencies, as in “schools are focusing” followed by “they focused,” and some sentences are difficult to follow because clauses are joined imprecisely. Practise subject–verb agreement and verb patterns after modal verbs and “used to,” then proofread each sentence for consistent tense and a clear grammatical structure.

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