Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.In my opinion, i strongly believe that too much concentration on formal learning is not very important children should play as well as learn because its important for them to engage in such activites.

Firstly, formal education is important for a children because learnings like writing,reading,speaking and listening will largerly help the child in his future studies and it will draw his basics in a correct manner.primary schools should focus on the specific types of learning and courses which will draw the best concepts in the mind of a primary class student.however,excessive amount of study will play a negtive role on the development of a child interest. for example, if a child will study for long hours without and break or play he will face a big amount of pressure and ultimately he will loss interest in his school and studies.

On the other hand, playing is an important part of childhood and should be included in classroom activities. Through games, children can learn how to communicate, cooperate with others and solve problems. Physical activities also help them stay healthy and improve their concentration. For instance, teachers can use puzzles, educational games and group activities to teach mathematics and science in an enjoyable way. As a result, children can understand difficult concepts more easily and remember information for longer.

In conclusion,primary schools should must focus on both play as well as learn in the classroom.Because basic concepts of learning will help a children in the the

future and playing games will grow the the children mindset and then they will focus good on schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a clear view that formal learning matters but should be balanced with play. Relevant support includes the pressure children may feel from long study periods and the benefits of games for communication, cooperation, health and concentration. The classroom examples—puzzles and group activities for mathematics and science—also respond directly to the task. However, the discussion is uneven: the first paragraph’s explanation of formal learning is difficult to follow and the claim that it is “not very important” conflicts with your later statement that it is important. The conclusion repeats the balance rather than clearly stating how far you agree. Clarify your position and develop the formal-learning point more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. “Firstly” and “On the other hand” help signal the main stages, and the second body paragraph progresses clearly from the benefits of play to classroom examples and outcomes. However, progression is less clear in the first body paragraph, where several ideas are joined in a long sequence, and the conclusion is difficult to follow. Some links are mechanical, while punctuation and spacing make boundaries between ideas less visible—for example, “learning.In my opinion” and “In conclusion,primary schools”. Use clear topic sentences, separate supporting points into manageable sentences, and ensure each paragraph develops one main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to discuss schooling and play, including “formal education”, “cooperate”, “concentration”, “educational games” and “difficult concepts”. The second body paragraph shows some useful variety and communicates the benefits of play clearly. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which makes parts of the first paragraph and conclusion unclear. Phrases such as “draw his basics”, “a big amount of pressure” and “grow the children mindset” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “activites”, “largerly” and “negtive”. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling; more precise phrasing would make your argument easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if a child…” and a sentence explaining how games can help children learn. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “a children”, “a child interest”, “he will loss interest” and the unfinished final phrase, “then they will focus good on schools”. The opening also joins separate ideas without a clear sentence boundary. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and complete sentence structure. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would help you express the same ideas more reliably while you develop complex forms.

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