Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The argument revolving around primary schools with claims that they focus too much on formal is valid point of concern. The purpose of primary schools is not just confined to memorizing books and to feed children with academic content. It is a place which plays an important role in grooming of a child and bulding a strong base for their upcoming future.

When a child is at age for a primary school, their brain is highly active and as he steps into world he tends to learn new things and explore new directions with interest as his adapting ability is also strong. So if primary schools just limit their students inside class and wont allow them to participate in different extracurricular activities this would lead to insufficient development of their brain and instead of learning with passion they would just find ways to avoid it.

Primary schools should focus on creating a learning space where there is flexibility for children to explore and find their interests. Instead of enforcing anything on them allow them to be creative so that they can enhance their imaginative and creative skills. Encourage them to participate in multiple games and extracurriculars and value their interests so that they could grow and develop in a positive way. I believe that it is very important for primary schools to involve their students in those activites which provide them exposure outside the classrooms and academic books.

According to facts from various sources, the children who studied in schools where there were disciplined and flexible enivronments and were provided knowledge not only through books but from different skill enhancing activities they possess a high level of intellect among them which helps them to excel in their future.

All these experiences and examples show how important a primary school stage is for grooming of a child and how it should be handled.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You take a clear position that primary schools should balance formal learning with play and wider activities. The response addresses both parts of the prompt: you question an overly academic focus and explain that games and extracurricular activities support children’s development. The points about curiosity, creativity and future growth are relevant, and the reference to children learning through activities offers some support. However, several claims remain broad—for example, the assertion that flexible schools produce children with “a high level of intellect” is not explained or illustrated with a specific example. The importance of play in the classroom could also be stated and developed more directly, rather than focusing mainly on activities outside the classroom. More precise reasoning and a concrete example would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces the issue, develops children’s learning needs, proposes a more flexible approach, and ends with a concluding statement. Paragraphs generally have a clear central focus, and linking expressions such as “So,” “Instead,” and “All these experiences and examples” help show relationships between ideas. At times, however, the progression is repetitive: the third paragraph repeats the case for activities and interests already made in the second, while the final paragraph introduces a general claim without connecting it clearly to a specific example. Some references, such as “those activities” and “these experiences,” are broad. Grouping related points more tightly and making links between claims and evidence explicit would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “extracurricular activities,” “imaginative,” and “flexibility.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions such as “grooming of a child” and “skill enhancing activities.” However, several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, including “focus too much on formal,” “feed children with academic content,” and “excel in their future.” There are also spelling errors, such as “bulding,” “activites,” and “enivronments,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and precise wording rather than elevated-sounding phrases. For example, describe schools as supporting children’s development and say that pupils can “succeed in the future.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if primary schools just limit their students inside class … this would lead to insufficient development.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “The argument … is valid point of concern” is missing an article, and “as he steps into world” also needs an article. In “their brain is highly active and as he steps,” the pronoun reference shifts from plural to singular; “won’t allow” would also be more appropriate than “wont allow” in this sentence. Some long sentences combine several ideas and become difficult to control. Check articles, pronoun consistency, verb forms and sentence boundaries, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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