Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Individuals often argue that primary school focus too much on formal learning.

From my preceptive I totally agree with this statement.I think schools often focus on formal learning.

However it is very significant to give childern some time for the physical activities.If childern only focus on study and don't do any physical activities it's going to affect them negatively every coin had two sides we need to balance them both.It is equally important for childern to do physical activities as much as studies.

If childern only focus on study and not focusing on the physical sports then they are not able to do any physical activities in the future.it is very important to build childern strength and stamina from the beginning.it doesn't matter whatever sports you play however it is football, basket ball, running, bodybuilding it doesn't matter.Any type of physical activity is significantly important for a growing teenager to boost their growth.

When I was a teenager i am not great in studies however I play a awesome football I played football since I was in class 7. I also represent my school in state football matches and if I am being honest that would be the greatest time of my life, I thank my coach who convence me to be in the team till now, because if I am not playing football I rather got some dieses or illness playing football make me a disciplined person I track my sleep,my diet, calories, protein, carbs, steps.i think it's very important to balance both sides of the coin.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You clearly state your position in the opening: “I totally agree,” and you address both the concern about formal learning and the importance of physical activity. Your examples about football, representing your school, and developing discipline make the benefits of activity relevant and personal. However, the response focuses mainly on sport and physical health, while the question asks more broadly about play alongside classroom learning. The claim that formal learning receives too much emphasis is repeated rather than supported with specific classroom examples or an explanation of how play could complement lessons. Develop both parts more evenly—for example, explain how play can support social skills, creativity, or learning—and connect your personal example directly to primary-school children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is an overall sequence from your opinion, to the value of activity, and then to a personal example, so the reader can follow the main line of thought. The final reference to “both sides of the coin” also echoes an earlier idea and gives the response some unity. However, the ideas are not clearly separated into developed paragraphs, and several points are repeated, especially the claim that children need physical activity. Some transitions are abrupt: “However” does not clearly contrast with the preceding sentence, and the long passage beginning “If children only focus on study” combines several ideas without clear links. Use distinct paragraphs for your position, reasons, and example, and make each paragraph advance a new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “strength and stamina,” and “disciplined,” which helps communicate your main ideas. The personal account also gives you opportunities to use topic-specific language such as “state football matches” and “diet.” However, the range is limited by repeated words such as “children,” “important,” and “physical activities,” and some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, including “from my preceptive,” “a awesome football,” and “boost their growth.” Spelling errors such as “childern,” “convence,” and “dieses” also reduce clarity. Build a wider set of accurate terms for play and learning, and check spelling and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, such as “If children only focus on study … it’s going to affect them negatively.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying entirely on short sentences. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences, where punctuation and sentence boundaries are often unclear. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms: “primary school focus” should be “primary schools focus,” and “I am not great in studies however I play” shifts tense awkwardly in a past account. Missing sentence punctuation and capitalisation—for example, after “statement” and before “it is”—make the response harder to read. Practise accurate past-tense narration and divide complex ideas into correctly punctuated sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.