Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools are the place where children first learn about their surroundings and develop long lasting new habits. Kids schools significate formal education more than extracurricular activities. They make students feel that academic study is of utmost importance rather than there playing hobby. I believe it's not fair to engage students merely in academic studies or formal education as now sports and outdoor activities help in brain development, critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

Firstly, in our society engaging in sports and extracurricular activities isn't given much appreciation as it deserves. Most people think that such things don't count in the academics and it degrades a student in his studies. But that's not the case as these kind of outdoor work help youngsters maintain their body, keep their brain active, and know the importance of teamwork. It has been seen that student who took part in sports have much better understanding of things while the others don't.

Secondly, primary schools keep their focus only on academic studies and often neglect the need for sports in some schools. It makes pupils a learning or memorizing machine as they get good grades however such youngs don't have the conceptual understanding of a particular topic. In regard to this students often fail to recognize the importance of self learning on their own due to it alot of issues made for them in the long term. They don't have general understanding how the world work, economy, education, technology and science, etc.

In conclusion I think parents and teachers should encourage student to take part in sports or any other helpful activity. It helps them build confidence and ow about the real self-learning which will be going to assist them excel in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree with an excessive focus on formal study and argue that play and sport support children’s development. You give relevant reasons, including teamwork, physical health, confidence and problem-solving, and the examples about pupils who participate in sports help explain your view. However, the two parts of the question are not developed equally. You discuss the disadvantages of academic emphasis, but say less about how important play is specifically within the primary-school classroom or how schools could balance play with learning. Some claims, such as that sports participants understand things better, would be stronger with a concrete example or explanation. Addressing both questions more directly and extending the supporting details would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from the value of extracurricular activities to the effects of an academic-only focus, so the reader can follow the main argument. However, some connections are unclear or mechanical. For example, “In regard to this” does not clearly show how the following point about self-learning follows from the previous sentence, and the list of “economy, education, technology and science” feels abrupt. Referencing is also occasionally vague, as in “such things” and “it.” Use more precise links between claims and explanations, and organise each paragraph around one clearly developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “critical thinking,” “problem-solving skills,” “teamwork,” “conceptual understanding” and “self-learning.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “Kids schools significate formal education,” “outdoor work,” and “such youngs.” There are also spelling or form errors, including “alot” and “ow,” which reduce precision. Aim for natural academic collocations and check that nouns and verbs fit their context. For instance, describe schools as “emphasising formal education,” and refer to “outdoor activities” and “young people.” This would make your vocabulary clearer and more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as” and “while,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms are noticeable. For example, “student who took part in sports have” has a singular-plural mismatch, while “how the world work” needs subject-verb agreement. The sentence beginning “In regard to this students often fail…” also lacks clear punctuation and becomes difficult to follow, and “which will be going to assist them” uses an awkward future construction. Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking agreement and verb forms, and using commas to separate introductory phrases and clauses. Greater control would make your argument easier to read.

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