Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is highly debated that schools at primary level dwell a lot on formal learning. Some argue that education for the young ones should be incooperated with fun activities to cultivate interest in learning. In my view children should be allowed to play and learn for reasons I will discuss in this essay.

When educators make their lessons enjoyable and interactive, it is an incredible way of keeping learners engaged. A good teacher will know that children will remember something taught in class especially when it has pleasant memories. For instance one could make counting numbers and reciting the alphabet into a dancing song. That way children do not forget what they learnt on a particular day by a specific teacher. Moreso they will look forward to that lesson because they enjoy it.What is more students generally perform well in subjects that they like.

Secondly most kids in primary have a short attention span. As an academic instructor one must find a variety of teaching methods to ensure they keep focused.Therefore a mixture of entertainment and learning can help captivate their attention. Sometimes if a period is too long they tend to drift away from what is being taught ,some may even sleep or day dream hence the need for fun activities in between to keep them connected.

On one hand some individuals believe that learning should remain formal, they argue that children should be trained to understand that education is serious.They believe that learners will undervalue education and not regard it as important by keeping it formal.

Be that as it may I strongly stand with my persepective that learning in primary should be fun.Not ponly does it help learners focus but also perform better in their academics.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support combining play with learning, and you give relevant reasons, including engagement, memory and children’s short attention spans. The dancing song example makes the first point concrete. You also acknowledge the opposing view that formal learning teaches children to take education seriously, so the response addresses both questions. This meets the task well, but the two benefits are not developed equally: the point about attention is explained, while the opposing argument is only briefly stated and not answered in detail. The claim that children perform better in subjects they like could also use an example or explanation. To strengthen the response further, develop each main idea with a specific classroom example and explain how play complements, rather than replaces, formal instruction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs supporting play, a paragraph presenting the opposing view, and a concluding position. Sequencing words such as “Secondly,” “On one hand,” and “Be that as it may” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the opposing view and conclusion are compressed into one paragraph, limiting the progression of the discussion. There are also places where sentence boundaries and spacing interrupt the flow, such as “they enjoy it.What is more” and “focused.Therefore.” Use separate paragraphs for the counterargument and conclusion, and connect ideas by showing their relationship rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow which ideas “that way” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “interactive,” “engaged,” “attention span,” and “captivate,” and these choices help communicate your main points. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “formal learning” and “academic instructor.” Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, however: “dwell a lot on formal learning” and “keeping it formal” do not express the argument as clearly as more conventional academic collocations would. Spelling errors such as “incooperated,” “persepective,” and “ponly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases and proofread carefully for spelling; this would make your vocabulary more controlled without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “When educators make their lessons enjoyable and interactive” and “Sometimes if a period is too long.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical and punctuation errors are present. For example, “In my view children” needs punctuation after the introductory phrase, and “children will remember something taught in class especially when it has pleasant memories” has an unclear pronoun reference. In “they enjoy it.What is more,” a sentence boundary and spacing are missing; similar punctuation problems occur around “focused.Therefore” and before “some may even sleep.” Review comma use, sentence boundaries, and pronoun clarity, while continuing to practise varied sentence structures.

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