Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is argued by some people that primary school prioritize on formal education more than its necessity. I completely agree with this perception as I think primary educational institutes focus more on academic lesson or bookish knowledge than practical learnings. I also believe it is very essential for children to play alongside learning in primary school as it can contribute to the growth of their physical and mental health.

Critiques believe primary schools emphasize way too much on academic lessons, as in a primary school, almost all of the periods are alloted to general bookish subjects like English, Math, Social Science etc. Majority of these school overlook the importance of lessons outside book and therefore, they dont programme any course related to practical skills essesntial for life. For example, young pupils nowadays lack knowledge about how to survive in the outside world. Basic skills like swimming, cycling or climbing are unfamiliar to them. They do not know how to tie a knot, set up a tent or fix a tool; as their schools always indulge them into formal learning. In these institutions, assesment of children are primarily based on their academic performances. As a result, all the attention goes to academic lessons and knowledge outside the book remains ignored.

However, I believe it is essential for children to take part in play alongside academic learning. Taking part in outdoor games ensures the physical activities of children which keep them fit and healthy. In addition, continuous learning in classroom can lead to boredom and students can lose the apetite for learning. By playing games with their friends, children can freshen up their minds and bring back concentration to their studies. Furthermore, it is also very important for their socital development. For example, when children take part in team sports, they learn how to co-exist in a team, work together for a goal and share joy or sorrow. As a result, they develop communication skill and sense of community.

In conclusion, primary schools are more biased toward formal education whereas physical activities contain paramount importance for the development of a child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you fully agree that primary schools overemphasise formal learning, and you also explain why play should accompany lessons. The response addresses both questions and supports its claims with relevant examples, including practical skills such as swimming and setting up a tent, and the social benefits of team sports. The explanation of play’s physical, mental and social value is particularly well extended. Some claims, however, are broad—for example, that “almost all” periods are devoted to book-based subjects and that pupils generally lack basic outdoor skills. To strengthen the response further, qualify such generalisations or explain their basis, and develop the proposed balance between formal lessons and play more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: the introduction states your view, the second paragraph explains the emphasis on formal learning, the third develops the case for play, and the conclusion restates the main position. Paragraphs are focused, and linking expressions such as “In addition,” “Furthermore,” and “As a result” help show how ideas relate. The examples generally follow the points they support, making the argument easy to follow. Some connections are a little mechanical, particularly the repeated use of result-based transitions, and the conclusion introduces “physical activities” without clearly tying this back to the need to balance play with academic learning. Varying transitions and using more precise references between claims and examples would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic and attempt some less common expressions, including “practical skills,” “physical and mental health,” and “societal development.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and meaning remains clear despite inaccuracies. However, several word choices or collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “prioritize on,” “practical learnings,” “indulge them into formal learning,” and “contain paramount importance.” Spelling errors, including “alloted,” “essesntial,” and “apetite,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “prioritise formal education,” “practical skills,” and “play is of paramount importance.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses and cause-and-effect structures: “Taking part in outdoor games ensures…” and “when children take part in team sports, they learn…”. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the range is sufficient to explain and support your position. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For instance, “primary school prioritize” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “Majority of these school overlook” needs an article and a plural noun. In “as their schools always indulge them…”, the semicolon incorrectly separates the clause. Review agreement and article use, and check that punctuation reflects the relationship between clauses.

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