Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people beleive that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I strongly agree with it because with learing play is also important for students if students participate in play with learning then students also enjoy school life.

On the one hand, learning is very important for all the children because they improve the skills and knowledge of all the students. Learing to read, write and perform basic calculations help students to study the complex subject if students learning is good in primpary school then its learning is automatically good in higher school. The students also need to learning with concentrate in primary school. However, I think many learning is also not good for students because it disturb the mind of students. Students feel boring, stress and anxiety if they have very high pressure of learning in primary school. Schools need to add such activity that happy the students.

On the other hand, playing is also important because it help to develop children equally. There are many games that sharp the mind of students. Students enjoy the school life if playing is add with learning because after complete day study plays fresh the mind of students. For Example when i was at 4 class i changed my school. In previous school there were many playing activities with learning but in new school did not have any playing activities for students so i was feeling bore in new school so that's why i think primary schools need to add playing with learning.

In conclusion, learing is important for students in primary school but, playing is also important for students because it make the students mind fresh, active and happy so that's why i think in primary school playing and learning boths are important for students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that formal learning can be overemphasised, and you address both the value of academic learning and the importance of play. The explanation that reading, writing and calculation prepare children for later study is relevant, as is your personal example of feeling bored after moving to a school without play activities. However, the two parts are not developed equally: the benefits of play are mostly stated generally, and the example could explain more clearly how play supported your learning or wellbeing. The claim that too much learning causes stress is also introduced but not supported with a specific reason or example. Develop these points further and connect them more directly to how classroom time should be balanced. The response meets the length requirement; nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the contrast between formal learning and play. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear because several ideas are joined into long, repetitive sentences, such as the explanation about basic skills and later study. Linking phrases including “because,” “if,” and “so that's why” are used repeatedly, making the connections feel mechanical. Some references are also unclear, for example “it help to develop children equally” does not specify what “it” refers to or what “equally” means. Use clearer topic sentences, divide related points into separate sentences, and vary linking devices to make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “basic calculations,” “pressure,” “activities,” and “anxiety.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “students,” “learning,” and “important.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as “beleive,” “learing,” “primpary,” and “bore,” which reduce accuracy and sometimes make the intended meaning less immediate. Some combinations are unnatural, including “sharp the mind,” “happy the students,” and “plays fresh the mind.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing education and child development, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise wording would help you express the benefits of play and the effects of academic pressure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if students participate in play with learning” and clauses beginning with “because” and “when.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “it help” needs subject–verb agreement, while “The students also need to learning” uses an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “For Example when i was at 4 class” also needs clearer punctuation and grammatical phrasing. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then use a smaller number of complex sentences with carefully checked clauses and punctuation.

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