Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The debate that arises among the believers, whether that the primary education institutions rely much more on formal learning. I completely agree with this view and I firmly believe primary education plays a vital role in shaping a child's dev future.

On the one hand, formal learning equips children with foundational knowledge. It develops the basic academic skills as well as core subjects such as mathematics, science, reading and writing. It also enhances the competitiveness among the classmates which helps them to do good in the tests. For example, when a student regularly practice his lessons he builds elementary proficiency. Then when he sits for the test he gets a reliable score on his learning. Through this, they are encouraged to do better.

On the other hand, primary education prepares a child for their future higher studies. Students follow a structured curriculum, complete homework and take examinations to test their progress. These activities help them develop discipline, responsibility and time management skills. Therefore, a formal learning provide important skills that can benefit students throughout their education.

However, children also learns by playful activities. Through this they develop practical skills with try and error method. While enjoying they get introduced with new topics they weren’t aware about. For example, solving puzzles can entertain childrens as well as enhancing expertness in creativity. But regarding this method a big contradiction takes place. In a single classroom of a school there are many students and for all of them its tough to manage activities that will give them pleasure and lesson spontaneously.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that primary schools focus more on formal learning because it develops a children's academic performance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear in the opening and conclusion: you agree that primary schools emphasise formal learning. You also recognise that play has value, mentioning practical skills and creativity through puzzles. However, the response only partly answers the two-part question. Most of the discussion explains benefits of formal study, while the claim that schools focus “too much” on it is not examined in depth, and the importance of play in the classroom is treated briefly. The point about managing activities in a large class is relevant but not explained or balanced against the benefits of play. To strengthen the response, clarify whether you believe formal learning is excessive and develop both sides with specific examples and a more direct judgement about how play should fit into classroom learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “However” help signal shifts in topic. Nevertheless, the overall progression is not fully clear: the second paragraph continues to support formal learning rather than presenting a distinct opposing point, and the relationship between the discussion of play and the conclusion is underdeveloped. Some links are mechanical or unclear, particularly “But regarding this method a big contradiction takes place,” which does not clearly identify the contradiction. Use topic sentences that show each paragraph’s purpose, and connect the classroom-management concern explicitly to your final position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for education, including “foundational knowledge,” “structured curriculum,” “discipline,” and “time management skills.” These choices help communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice or collocation errors make parts of the response awkward or unclear. For example, “dev future” is not an appropriate phrase, “enhances the competitiveness among the classmates” is unnatural, and “introduced with new topics” does not express the intended meaning naturally. “Expertness in creativity” is also unclear. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording: for instance, describe play as helping children “develop creativity” and say that it “introduces them to new topics.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “when,” “which,” and “while.” This gives the response some structural variety, but complex constructions are often faulty and errors occur frequently enough to make the reader pause. Examples include “whether that the primary education institutions rely,” “a student regularly practice,” “a formal learning provide,” and “children also learns.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence formation, as in “a children's academic performance.” Work on subject–verb agreement and sentence patterns first, and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb. For example, write “a student regularly practises” and “formal learning provides important skills.”

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