Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there has been a considerable debate about whether primary schools focuses a significant amount of time on formal education. While, there are some advantages to focus considerably on formal learning, I believe that it is important for primary schools to focus on other extra curicular activities such as sports, arts because it makes children more creative and also helps to build their own interpersonal skills.

One the one hand, there are sveral reasons why primarly schools focuses on formal learning. One of the major reason is that children tend to become serious about their careers. Early education based on the main subjects such as Mathematics, English and Science, which makes pupils suucessfull in the long run. As a result, they know how to solve practical tasks, manage time and how to prepare their brain in chellenging situations. For example, children who performs quiet well in their academics at an very early age, they achieve higher in the careers. Moreover, their mind is also prepaired in different type of workplaces.

However, I largely agree that primary classrooms have an specific section for children extra curicular activities. Education plays an integral role, nevertheless most of the children tend to have difficulties to learn hard questions. Despite this, a significant number of children showing their interest in other activities such sports, plays and art. Furthermore, children learn better in their own preferences, beacuse it reduces their stress to achieve higher in exams.

In conclusion, although formal education plays a pivotal role in building a career of a student, nontheless it is also intrumental to make pupils more comfortable in schools. Hence, they can easily express their view, and also showing thier skills in other plays. Cosequently, primary schools should add extra classes for plays and games.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a relevant position: formal education matters, but children should also have opportunities for activities such as sports and art. The response addresses both the value of academic subjects and the importance of play, and the example of core subjects gives some support. However, the extent of your agreement is not fully clear: the introduction says schools should focus on “other extra curricular activities,” while the conclusion recommends adding “extra classes,” without explaining how much classroom time should be devoted to play. Several claims, such as early academic success leading to higher career achievement, are asserted rather than explained. Develop the benefits of play with a specific classroom example and make your position on the balance between learning and play consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “However” help signal the shift from formal learning to extracurricular activities, so the reader can follow the main line of argument. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, though. For example, “Despite this” does not clearly show the relationship between children finding questions difficult and their interest in other activities, and “Hence” introduces a conclusion that is not fully established by the preceding point. The final paragraph also repeats earlier ideas rather than drawing them together. Use linking phrases to express precise relationships, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “interpersonal skills,” “integral role” and “pivotal role.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic vocabulary. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause, as in “extra curicular,” “suucessfull,” and “showing their interest in other activities such sports.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “prepare their brain in challenging situations” does not clearly convey the intended benefit, and “other plays” is not a natural way to refer to activities. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; precise phrases such as “develop problem-solving skills” would communicate your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “although formal education plays a pivotal role” and a clause beginning “because it reduces their stress.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For instance, “primary schools focuses” should use a plural verb, while “One the one hand” is missing a preposition. The sentence beginning “Early education based on the main subjects” is a fragment, and “children who performs” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, then review articles and singular/plural agreement, especially in longer sentences.

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