Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many individual believes that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

I srongly agree with this opinion, because of only formal learning can not provide quality education to primary school students. To enhance their bond and mind properly childrens must play in classroom along with studing. It can improve their engagement with education.

First of all, if primary schools provide only formal education the young children might bored with the monotonious classes. They migh lose interest on learning.

Another thing is that they will feal bored and afraid of education. The ultimate goal should be engaging them with education rather than forcing them to learn everything.

However, if primary schools introduce smarter learning module combined with many playing activities they can easily learn their lesson. Additionally, playing will encourage them to attend schools every day. Also plaing activities will improve their tactice, teamwork and interpersonal skills. A good example can be introducing new counting method with different kind of toy module, so that they can learn with playing games. Teachers should be more consern about individual students strangh and weakness. Also some of them get frightent in their first few weeks. some opf the children can find study more difficult than others and they migh lost their motivation for studing in young age.

In conclution, The government should remove the traditional learning modules from primary school, while introducing new learning module combined with playing and learning. these steps can omprove our countries primary sector education and encoueage playing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position, stating, “I strongly agree,” and address both formal learning and the value of play. Relevant reasons include the risk that children “lose interest” in monotonous classes and the benefits of play for teamwork and interpersonal skills; the toy-based counting example also helps illustrate your point. However, several ideas are asserted rather than explained, and the discussion of children feeling afraid or struggling with study is not fully connected to specific classroom solutions. Your conclusion recommends removing traditional modules, a stronger claim than the essay has justified. The response is 240 words, so it is 10 words below the required minimum; the nine words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop each reason with clearer explanation and support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Another thing,” and “However” help signal the direction of ideas. However, progression is uneven: the second paragraph repeats the point that children may feel bored, while the longer paragraph moves between play, attendance, skills, teaching methods, and individual difficulties without clearly grouping these points. Some links are also unclear, particularly the shift from the toy example to teachers’ concern about students’ strengths and weaknesses. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect examples directly to the claim they support, and avoid relying on a series of basic transition phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “engagement,” “teamwork,” and “interpersonal skills,” which helps communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make the writing less clear, such as “monotonious,” “tactice,” “consern,” and “strangh.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “bond and mind,” “toy module,” and “attend schools every day.” These issues fit a response where vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning but errors are noticeable and can cause difficulty. Build a more accurate set of phrases for classroom learning and child development, and check spelling and collocations carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer conditional or subordinate structures, for example, “if primary schools provide only formal education…” and “so that they can learn…”. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Examples include “because of only formal learning can not provide,” “the young children might bored,” and “some of them get frightent in their first few weeks,” where sentence construction or verb forms are incorrect. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and punctuation, such as the lower-case “some” after a full stop and inconsistent capitalisation in the conclusion. Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb patterns, auxiliaries, and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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