Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the world , full of educational load Few citizens oppose that the primary schools are focusing so much on formal teaching , I agree with this opinion, as In today world educational schools are targeting more on studies rather than playing outdoor games.

To begin with , students primary spent more times on studies and assignement which make them feel pressurized and exhausted as it is hard for them to put their mind, which stops their brain devlopment ,as a child their mind ask for outdoor activity which helps them feeling fresh and energetic and makes them mentally strong for targeting heavy studies in future.

On the other hand, school are focusing more on studies other than sports however, It is crucially important for the child to have open-air activties which makes them feel connected to nature and helps them to get ready for themsleves and they dont get bored with studies as an research done by doctors it says that for devloping the mindset , A physical activity is needed for human body which make them feel relax and By focusing it if teachers try top combine educational studies and outdoor activity it will make a new step for students to learn new thing and will make them know about the world and society.

In conclusion , I strongly agree with this opinion as students need outdoor activity and need time to get relax for brain devlopment and by combining outdoor sports and academic studies it will make a new step for them to learn new things about the world and community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal study, and you address the importance of play by explaining that outdoor activity can refresh children and support their mental development. The suggestion that teachers combine academic learning with activity also responds to both parts of the question. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, you say that study pressure “stops their brain development,” but do not clarify how or provide a specific example. The reference to research by doctors is also general and unsupported. Develop one or two reasons in more depth, and explain how play can be incorporated into classroom learning, not only outdoor sports, to make the response more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from study pressure to the benefits of activity is generally understandable, and phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal stages in the argument. However, the second body paragraph combines several ideas—nature, boredom, research and combining study with activity—without clearly separating or developing them. Some linking is also mechanical, and the contrast signalled by “On the other hand” is not fully clear because the paragraph continues to support your original position. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main point, then connect supporting explanations more precisely and avoid long chains of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal teaching,” “outdoor activity,” “mentally strong” and “brain development,” so the main ideas can be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. For instance, “educational load” and “targeting more on studies” do not sound natural in this context, while “open-air activities” is less suitable than a more precise term such as “physical activity” or “outdoor play.” Spelling errors, including “assignement,” “devlopment” and “activties,” also detract from accuracy. Build a wider set of natural education-related phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including explanations linked with “as” and “which,” and your main position remains understandable. However, some sentences are difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear grammatical control. For example, the opening sentence has unclear sentence boundaries, and “students primary spent more times on studies … which make them feel” contains problems with word order, tense and subject–verb agreement. There are also errors with articles, plurals and punctuation, such as “as an research” and the inconsistent capitalisation after commas. Aim for shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Proofread for agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

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