Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people outlook that formal learning should be highly focussed in primary schools. They might contemplate this as it will make a lasting difference on children's life. If they study through a proper curriculum that shared with parents and that would be well organized, taught by proficient educators then they not only excel in their academic careers but also they learn life lessons for their personal affairs. At elementary level when they study meticulously, they will know the value of time- management and execution of their thoughts critically. I agree with this arguement because in my perspective it enable students to make rational decisions in their lives if they acquired the organiztional skills from the very beginning.
Activities and different games should be played besides learning in primary school classrooms so that the students might not get scared by classrooms. If teacher does not let them play inside the classroom it will only breed fear which compel them to think about classroom as a strict study zone. Such kind of rigorous actions of primary schools have a highly detrimental effect on children's behaviour of that age.
In our school formal education has been followed which had pros and cons as well because highly focussed formal education make students rigid and a book worm which make them emotionally numb in later stages of life. . When I was in my junior grades we were not allow to play inside the classroom and if someone want to stay in then they have to be quietky sit there. It not only shattered our confidence but also made us introvert.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You give a clear general position: formal learning has value, but children should also have opportunities to play. The discussion of classroom play and your personal example of being required to sit quietly are relevant to both questions. However, the first part receives more attention than the second: the benefits of formal study are asserted, but not illustrated, while the importance of play is mainly explained through the risk of fear and rigidity. The response also shifts between supporting a strong focus on formal learning and warning that it can make pupils “emotionally numb,” so your degree of agreement is not fully consistent. Develop a balanced position and explain more specifically how play supports children’s learning and wellbeing.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, moving from formal learning to classroom play and then to a personal example. This gives the reader a basic sense of the discussion, and the final paragraph provides relevant support for your concerns about strict classroom rules. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the opening sentence about what “some people” believe does not clearly connect to your own position, and the final paragraph introduces both advantages and disadvantages without resolving them. Linking phrases such as “because” and “so that” are used, but relationships between some ideas remain unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including terms such as “curriculum,” “proficient educators,” “rational decisions,” and “detrimental effect.” These choices help you discuss education and children’s development, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “people outlook,” “highly focussed,” “breed fear,” and “book worm.” There are also spelling errors such as “arguement,” “organiztional,” and “quietky.” These do not prevent the main ideas from being understood, but they reduce precision. Aim to use familiar collocations accurately and proofread spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “If teacher does not let them play…” and “if they acquired the organiztional skills…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “a proper curriculum that shared with parents” needs a correctly formed passive clause, while “it enable students” and “formal education…make students” have agreement problems. In the personal example, “we were not allow” and “they have to be” do not maintain the appropriate tense. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly the extra full stop before “When.” Practise accurate clause patterns and check each sentence for tense and agreement.
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