Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Certain individuals are contend that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning.I totally agree with this opinion that they are foucusing on formal learning.That is very crucial for children to play with study and why i agree with this notion that i will explain in the following paragrpahs.

First and foremost, if schools are forcing children to focus only on study than it might be not favourable for all children.This is because some students have better ability to playing sports and if schools will providing facilties to train that student than they might be doing well in sports.Moreover, if children are only focusing on traditional learning than after sometime they feel bore and because of that they are not able to concentarte on different thing.For instance, many schools have busy sechdule where student compulsary have to study for certain hours.As a result, student feel bore in their whole day and not able able to perform other activity effectivaly.

Besides this, it is vital for children to play as well as learning, because if they are not perform physical activity with study then in future, their physic health will be developed weak compared to children who daily spent some time on playing sports.Anothor thought is, in primary school it is become more crucial to spend some time on play because at this age children are not able to focus all the time on study but if they spent sufficient time on playing than they perform well in their academics.For example, many students are feel bored while they only study but if they play first and after that they are start study than they foucs more on study.

To sum up, it is very favourable when children find out that they are good at playing and they want to make their career in sports it is only possible when they have enough time to play and it is also beneficial for their physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you address both the value of play and learning together. Relevant points include children’s physical health, boredom, and the possibility of developing sporting ability. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that children who play before studying “focus more” would be stronger with a clearer explanation or a specific example. The discussion of schools providing sports facilities is also brief, and the conclusion mainly repeats the benefits of play rather than drawing together your reasons. Develop each main point with a cause-and-effect explanation or a concrete example to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally have clear purposes, and linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” help signal the progression. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the opening sentence of the introduction is difficult to follow, so the position is not expressed smoothly. Within paragraphs, several ideas are joined in long sentences, making the relationship between them less clear; for instance, the sentence beginning “Moreover, if children are only focusing…” combines boredom and concentration without a clean transition. Use clearer topic sentences and divide complex points into shorter, logically connected sentences. Referencing should also be more precise so readers can easily identify who “they” or “that student” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical activity,” “academics,” and “career in sports.” There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as “traditional learning” and “physical health.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors make the writing less natural. Examples include “feel bore,” “physic health,” “busy sechdule,” and “perform other activity effectivaly.” Repeated use of “study,” “play,” and “children” also limits flexibility. Build a bank of accurate phrases for education and child development, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise vocabulary would help express your ideas without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if schools are forcing children…” and clauses introduced by “because” and “if.” This shows an effort to explain causes and consequences. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “if schools will providing” has an incorrect verb form, while “it is become more crucial” and “many students are feel bored” do not use the correct verb patterns. Some sentences also contain several clauses without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a supporting clause, paying particular attention to subject–verb agreement and verb forms after “if,” “are,” and “is.”

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