Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays a part and parcel role in children's personal and professional development. It is argued by individuals that primary educational institute emphasize more on formal education instead of other activities. I partaly agree with this statement because both are vital for children's development.

To commence with, there are several advantages of formal learning. The first and foremost is, learn basic things. To explain it, children's learn basic subjects like english, punjabi and mathematics. Moreover, it not only give them better knowledge but also help in exams. For instance, students make their career in any subject according to their interest. Therefore, formal subjects help them to crack any competetitive exams.

On the other hand, there are numerous benefits of playing games. The most prominent point is, improvement in physical health. To elaborate it, schools should focus on games also because it provides good health and physical fitness. In addition, playing in teams studenr's learn team work or discipline. For example, children build their career in sports like as a trainer. However, games are very crucial because it provides them relaxation and do not feel exhausted while learning.

In my opinion, playing games are very important , no doubt formal subjects are also crucial for basic knowledge but with the help of games they learn many important values like discpline and team work.

In conclusion, although formal subjects plays an important role in students development like students are interested in science and history and they follow their passion but other activities are also crucial because it teaches them hardwork and chldren's do not lose interest while studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and give a clear, qualified position: you partly agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, while also recognising its value. Relevant points include basic subject knowledge, physical health, teamwork and relaxation. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The benefits of formal subjects are linked to exams and future careers, but the claim that schools focus too much on them is not supported with a specific example or explanation of what this imbalance looks like. Similarly, the sports-career example is less directly relevant to the importance of classroom play for all children. Develop these points with concrete classroom examples and explain more clearly how play and formal learning should be balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and games, a personal view, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “To commence with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” At times, however, these transitions feel mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the move from teamwork and discipline to children becoming sports trainers does not fully explain the connection. The final paragraph repeats points from the body rather than bringing them together into a sharper conclusion. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence build directly on the previous one, with clearer references to the central question of balance.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “formal learning,” “physical fitness,” “team work,” “discipline,” and “relaxation.” There are also attempts at more formal expressions, such as “prominent point” and “personal and professional development.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural. Examples include “part and parcel role,” “crack any competitive exams,” and “build their career in sports like as a trainer.” Spelling errors such as “partaly,” “competetitive,” and “discpline” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for instance, describe how play “supports” development rather than relying on broad or unnatural phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “although formal subjects plays an important role…” and a reason introduced by “because.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “children’s learn” should use a plural subject without an apostrophe, and “it not only give them… but also help” needs agreement between the subject and verbs. In “playing games are very important,” the subject-verb relationship is also inaccurate. Some sentences, such as “The first and foremost is, learn basic things,” are incomplete or awkwardly formed. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement and punctuation when joining clauses.

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