Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some indivisuals consider that primary schools focus too much on formal learning .personally i think that formal learning can improve children basic knowledge ,writing and reading.In my opinion plays are very crucial for minors as much as formal learning is important because it will help to improve their creativity .also teamwork and it help minors to reduce their stress .

Several citizens argue that primary schools focus too much on formal education i agree with this due to formal learning help learners to improve their writing,reading and basic knowledge about mathmatics .From my perspective too much focus on formal learning is not too good for physicall and mental well being of minors as a result some students become stressed .Therefore, schools should try to promote other activities which help students to forget about their studies stress.

Personally, i believe that plays are beneficial for all students because it helps minors to forget about their worries and also it can improve their physicall and mental wellbeing .In addition when children use to play outdoor games like cricket,badminton and hockey so these activities helps them to raize their patience also they know about teamwork and decision making so i think plays are as much important as education and other activities .

In conclusion many people think that primary schools are focusing too much on teaching students with the hepl of teachers .I agree with this due to formal learning boost the ability of learning something new and also i think plays are as much important as education because it help mionrs to reduce the stress of their studies and other worries .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and make your position clear: you agree that formal learning can receive too much emphasis, while arguing that play is also important. Relevant reasons include reducing stress, developing creativity, and learning teamwork and decision-making; the examples of cricket, badminton, and hockey help illustrate your point. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained. For instance, you mention that play improves creativity but do not show how, and the discussion of formal learning focuses mainly on stress and basic skills. The conclusion repeats your position without adding much synthesis. To strengthen the response, explain one or two effects in more depth and connect them directly to children’s classroom learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for formal learning and play, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking words can feel mechanical or lead into awkward sentences. For example, “Therefore” introduces a general recommendation, while “In addition when…” and “so” create a confusing chain of ideas. The conclusion also repeats points from earlier paragraphs rather than bringing them together. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one idea at a time, and make references such as “it” and “these activities” unambiguous. A more deliberate sequence would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main points, including “formal learning,” “teamwork,” “decision making,” and “mental wellbeing.” There are also attempts to express ideas beyond basic classroom terms. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause. Examples include “plays” for play or games, “physicall,” “raize,” and “mathmatics.” Phrases such as “forget about their studies stress” are also unnatural. Build a more accurate set of expressions for discussing education and child development, and check spelling carefully. Choosing precise, natural phrases will make your ideas clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, such as “I agree with this due to…” and the sentence describing the benefits of outdoor games. This shows some effort to connect ideas, but control is inconsistent: complex sentences often contain several grammatical problems, and punctuation and capitalisation errors recur. For example, “formal learning help learners” has subject–verb disagreement, while “when children use to play… so these activities helps them” has faulty clause construction and agreement. Sentence boundaries are also unclear in places, including the opening after “learning.” Practise forming one clear main clause with a correctly attached reason or example, and check verb agreement, articles, and sentence punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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