Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Now a days primary schools primarily foucus on formal learning. In my opinion this type of approach of schools is incorrect. If we look around us we found mostly school do same practice of formal learning system.

Firstly if we talk about the overall pattern of study we have two aspects. One aspect is realted with formal leanring like thoery. Second aspect is realted with practical of the theory knoelwge. When schools just focused on formal studies they actually just complete the course outline. Therefore,the school system will not able to provide enviroment where students ability will polished and their critical thinking ability will enhance. As per students aspect they need some practical area where they will apply their therorectical knowledg. By this practice they will ablen to develop innovate ideas and product.

Sports and any play in school will not only develop good physical health but also mental health. In my opinion sports in primary class is as important as theory of any subject. We need to make our classroom too friendly for children. Moreover, when students will be engaged in healthy sports their blood circulation increase in the brain which cause brain to increase its performance. Furthermore, the benefits of sports is that some students have good in sports since childhood so their interest will be highlighted and it will have positive effect on student development.

We need to avoid just formal learing in primary schools and needs to focused on practical work. Sports activity will not only improve students health but also improves critical thinking of brain.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you disagree with an emphasis on formal learning alone, and you explain why play and sport matter in primary classrooms. Your position is clear in statements such as “this type of approach…is incorrect” and “sports in primary class is as important as theory.” Relevant reasons include practical application, critical thinking, and physical and mental health. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that sport improves brain performance through blood circulation would benefit from a clearer explanation or a specific example. The discussion also shifts between practical work and play without fully clarifying how these relate. Develop each main reason with a concrete classroom example and make the relationship between learning through practice and play more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your view, develops practical learning in one paragraph, discusses sport and play in another, and ends with a recommendation. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore” help signal the sequence of points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and some connections between ideas are not fully clear. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from formal study to course completion, then to critical thinking and practical application without showing each link in detail. The conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than drawing them together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting point directly to the paragraph’s main idea; vary linking methods and use pronouns or reference phrases where the meaning remains unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “practical,” “critical thinking,” “physical health,” and “mental health.” These terms make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt more specific expressions such as “apply their theoretical knowledge” and “innovate ideas.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, including “foucus,” “leanring,” “thoery,” and “therorectical,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the writing. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “practical of the theory knowledge” and “their interest will be highlighted.” Build a more reliable range of collocations for education and child development, and proofread spelling and word forms. Prefer precise, natural phrases over ambitious wording that does not fit the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “When schools just focused on formal studies…” and a reason clause beginning “since childhood.” This gives the response some variety, and the main message is generally recoverable. However, there are some recurring problems with agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “we found mostly school do same practice” has mismatched tense and number, while “their blood circulation increase” needs subject–verb agreement. The final sentence also shifts between “will not only improve” and “also improves.” Review agreement and maintain consistent verb forms, especially in longer sentences. Breaking complex ideas into shorter, accurately controlled sentences will make your reasoning easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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