Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Many people argue that primary schools emphasize on traditional way of learning. I disagree with this way of teaching because games and learning are equally important for young age children as students learn faster by playing learning activities and they get motivation towards going to school.
Games play a significant role in learning. During playing activities students tend to learn faster as young children take more interest in colourful objects and pictures. They learn colours name and other fundamentals of primary level teachings very effectively during playing activities rather than seeing these objects in books. For instance, students who learn during play perform better in classroom as these methods of teaching create a long lasting memorable effect on children's brain.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
Your position is clear: you disagree that formal learning should dominate and argue that play supports learning and motivates children to attend school. You also give a relevant example about learning colours and other basic concepts through activities. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it does not explain how important play is relative to formal learning in the classroom, and the point about motivation is introduced but not developed. The example is asserted rather than supported with detail, and there is no discussion of how play and structured lessons might be balanced. The response is also 130 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to develop both parts of the question. Extend your reasoning and add specific examples for each main point.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic overall structure: an opening states your view, followed by a paragraph explaining how play can support learning. The ideas within that paragraph are generally related, moving from children’s interest in colourful materials to a claim about classroom performance. However, progression is limited because the essay ends after this single supporting point, without a developed conclusion or a separate discussion of the importance of balancing play and formal learning. Linking is also somewhat repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “during playing activities.” Use clearer paragraphing to organise distinct reasons, and connect claims to examples with a wider range of linking expressions. A concluding sentence that restates your position would make the response feel more complete.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the central idea, including “significant role,” “motivation,” and “long lasting memorable effect.” These choices show some attempt to express educational concepts rather than relying entirely on very simple words. However, several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “traditional way of learning,” “young age children,” and “colours name.” “Playing activities” is repeated, which limits the range, and “perform better” is a broad claim without precise wording. Aim for more natural collocations and vary terms such as “play-based learning,” “young learners,” and “classroom activities.” Check word forms and spelling conventions, including the compound “long-lasting,” so your vocabulary sounds more controlled and academic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause in “students learn faster by playing learning activities” and a longer sentence beginning “For instance.” The main message remains understandable, and some sentence patterns are controlled. However, errors in grammatical forms and sentence construction are noticeable. For example, “primary schools emphasize on” uses an unnecessary preposition, while “as young children take more interest” is an awkwardly formed clause in context. The sentence about learning “colours name and other fundamentals” also has problems with plural and article use. There is limited variety in sentence structures, and the final sentence is long enough that its relationships between ideas become less clear. Practise accurate noun phrases and build complex sentences with clear clause boundaries.
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