Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era, physical help is as important as career and knowledge. On that note, a few number of individuals argue that primary schools provides more focus on traditional learning. I completely agree with this notion. Although provides numerious reasons, why playing and learning both are essential for students.

There are several reasons justifying my opinion. The most prominet one is that, formal learning system helps students to built successful carees because in primary schools, student can gain knowledge as well as skills and get a certificate at the end which helps them to get a better job in future regarding to their intrest. Secondly, it helps to improve skills like communication, team-work and time management as it followes planned education. For example, formal learning system provide opportunities for students to work in group and manage their time-table for tasks. Thus, formal learning is important for the better growth of students.

On the other hand, physical activites also plays an important role in children's lives. Firstly, playing period helps student to improve their physical health as well as mental health. For instance, schools provides free time for students to relax and enjoy with their friends by playing games which may reduce acedamic pressure as well as improve their immunity system. Secondly, it provide future path for some students as many students are not good at academic subjects so they can choose sport as a career. Therefore, playing is as beneficial for students as learning.

In conclusion, formal learning provides path for better future as well as helps to gain knowlegde and skills. On the other hand, sport activities help them not only physically but also mentally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear overall view that formal learning and play both matter, and you give relevant reasons for each: academic learning can build knowledge and skills, while play supports physical and mental health. However, the response only partly answers the question about whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning. You say, “I completely agree,” but the body mainly explains why formal learning and play are beneficial rather than showing that schools give excessive attention to formal study. The claim that formal education leads to certificates and better jobs is also not well matched to primary-school children. To strengthen the response, explain what an appropriate balance should look like and support your position with more specific classroom examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on formal learning, a contrasting paragraph on play, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression is somewhat mechanical, with “Firstly” and “Secondly” organising lists rather than developing a connected argument. The introduction’s final sentence, “Although provides numerious reasons,” is incomplete and makes the opening difficult to follow. The conclusion repeats the two sides but does not resolve the question of whether schools focus too much on formal learning. Make the position explicit throughout, and use each paragraph to build a reasoned answer rather than simply listing benefits.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “communication,” “team-work,” “physical health,” “mental health,” and “academic pressure,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning awkward. For example, “physical help” does not express the intended idea, “a few number of individuals” is unnatural, and “future path” is unclear in the context of sport as a career. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “numerious,” “prominet,” “carees,” and “knowlegde.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a reason-and-example structure beginning “For instance,” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to interpret. The opening fragment “Although provides numerious reasons” lacks a clear subject and main clause. There are also recurring problems with subject–verb agreement and verb forms, as in “primary schools provides,” “playing period helps student,” and “it followes planned education.” Articles and plurals are inconsistent too, for example “in group” and “student can gain.” Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check agreement and singular/plural forms.

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