Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people hold this opinion that formal learning is the primary motive of our primary school education. I mostly agree with this point of view as educational institutions give substantial importance to the curriculum.

Primary schools give utmost importance to formal education. Pupils are encouraged to excel in academic grounds while the least importance is given to sports and games. This attitude of educational organizations is diminishing the interest of students in sports and they are becoming book worms. Sports and games hold equal importance to that of studies so students can engage themsleves in useful activities which will definitely improve their physical and mental health. It is crucial for pupils to indulge in physical demanding sports as it will brighten their minds and improve their flexes. It is observed that students who take part in sports are comparaively more active and sharp in studies than those who spend a significant part of their day in learning.

Focusing merely on education and ignoring sports and games will make students feel stressed. Our mind needs some time to relax otherwise it will not be able to produce exceptional results. Sports and games provide our brain with sense of amusement and make us forgot the hectic routine. It gives a sense of relief from the chaotic lifestyle and our brain abilities and IQ tends to flourish which proves beneficial for both curricular and co-curricular activities. Students create a sense of team work and cooperation from sports and decision making abilities also improvise. A well rounded student who is exceptional in both studies and play

wel rounded

team work

decision making

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you mostly agree that primary schools give too much emphasis to formal learning, and you explain why play and sport matter for health, relaxation, teamwork and decision-making. These points address both parts of the question, and the examples about active pupils and cooperation are relevant. This is stronger than a response that merely lists opinions. However, the discussion is uneven: the claim that pupils who play sports are sharper academically is asserted rather than supported with a specific example, and the second question—how important play is within the classroom—is not explored as directly as the broader value of sport. The final thought about a well-rounded student is also left incomplete. Develop these points to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable progression: it states a position, discusses the dominance of academic study, and then explains the benefits of play and sport. Paragraphing helps separate the main stages of the argument, and links such as “otherwise” and “which proves beneficial” show attempts to connect ideas. However, several sentences accumulate multiple claims, making the progression less controlled—for example, the sentence beginning “Sports and games provide our brain…” moves through amusement, relief, brain abilities and IQ. Some references, such as “It” in “It gives a sense of relief,” are not fully clear. The ending is unfinished, and the extra fragments after the essay interrupt the overall structure. Use clearer topic sentences, divide long chains of ideas, and provide a complete conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “curriculum,” “physical and mental health,” “cooperation,” and “decision making.” There are also attempts at less common or more formal expressions, such as “substantial importance” and “chaotic lifestyle,” which help convey your ideas. At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or unnatural: “excel in academic grounds,” “improve their flexes,” and “our brain abilities…tends to flourish” do not express the intended meaning precisely. Spelling errors such as “comparaively” and “wel rounded,” along with the informal “book worms,” also reduce control. Aim for natural combinations such as “excel academically,” “improve flexibility,” and “develop cognitive abilities,” and proofread carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as,” “while,” and “otherwise,” so the writing is not limited to basic sentence patterns. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “It gives a sense of relief … and our brain abilities and IQ tends to flourish” has a faulty connection between clauses and subject–verb agreement; “students can engage themsleves” also contains an incorrect reflexive form. The final sentence, “A well rounded student who is exceptional in both studies and play,” is incomplete and has no main clause. Work on agreement, complete sentence structure, and punctuation when joining several ideas. Shorter, carefully controlled sentences would help preserve your meaning while you develop more complex forms.

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