Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few individuals believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Education is very important for primary school students, it is a base of them and we should focus more on them to make interest of them into studies.

On the one hand, formal learning plays crucial role for younger students because it is a start for them into practical life. Some people thinks school now a days focus on formal learning too much because they are not teaching them practical rules of life. They focus only on theory and ask children to learn the sallybus. They are not making their interest in studies and they also not teach them how to behave with people. For example, a kid from primary school is very intelligent, but he does not know how to speak with others people.Furthermore, primary school should focus on that and improve the behaviour of younger students.

It is very important for children to play bacause by playing games their mind will become active.They will feel more fresh in class and a little break from study also helped them to reduce their stress. Their interest in studies will increase and they want to go to school daily without any fear. For example, many children do not want to go to school because of theoritical pressure. However, if they also play games in some lectures, so it should increase their interest in studeis.

To conclude, primary school are focusing too much on formal learning rather than creating interest of younger students in school. They should give free lectures to students for playing games freely. They will feel more active and, their mind will becomes more active. They will not feel lazy after playing games.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: you discuss whether schools overemphasise formal learning and explain why play matters, giving examples such as children feeling less stressed and being more willing to attend school. Your conclusion also makes your view broadly clear: schools should create more opportunities for play. However, the position is not fully consistent. The opening says schools should focus more on studies, while later paragraphs argue that formal learning receives too much attention. The discussion of formal learning also shifts towards teaching behaviour and practical life skills, rather than clearly evaluating how much classroom time should be devoted to academic study. Develop this distinction and support your view with more specific examples to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally stay on a relevant topic, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” help show the intended direction. However, progression within and between paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The opening position conflicts with the later argument, and the first body paragraph moves from formal learning to practical life skills and behaviour without clearly connecting these points. Some links are also mechanical or awkward, as in “However, if they also play games in some lectures, so it should increase their interest.” Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain the link between supporting points, and use referencing and transitions more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “practical life,” “behaviour,” “stress,” and “interest in studies.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “interest,” “students,” and “active.” Some choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “make interest of them into studies,” “learn the sallybus,” and “free lectures … for playing games freely.” Spelling errors, including “bacause,” “theoritical,” and “studeis,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise phrases and check spelling carefully; for example, explain that play can “increase engagement” or provide a “break from academic work,” rather than repeating general references to interest and activity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause in “because by playing games their mind will become active” and a conditional structure beginning “if they also play games.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “Education is very important for primary school students, it is a base of them” joins two independent clauses incorrectly; “Some people thinks” has subject–verb disagreement; and “primary school are focusing” has an agreement error. Other examples include “their mind will becomes” and “a little break … also helped them.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, and check verb forms and agreement when revising.

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