Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

most population of the world think it is necessary to focus on the education in primary school but some off beleave children should learn as well as play outdoor games this eassy would discuss both the view points brfore my opinion.

On the one hand,first and foremost childrens must complete their primary education before play outdoor because outdoor games help childrens in overall growth and protect from some deceases for instance if children study their primary education then he plays outdoor he also improve in study outdoor activities also helps in decreasing stress it is necessary for every student to maintain balance between study and other physical activities.

On the other hand, firstly students only focus on their primary education while they are in their primary school because primary education is the roots of future if they now focus on their education then it is eassy for students in their further education and also primary education is starting phase of life if student prefer the education he become a perfect in life for example if student focus primary education he become a sucessful in their life like as elonmusk i read that musk is very sensitive in their life's starting phase basically in primary education and he become words first trillioner which have proff.

According to me the the education as well as play is play the important role in their life like games sharp the student's brain aand student also focus on cariear as well as health because health is wealth.

in conclusion i say both the viewpoints are good but the play with education is slightly better for health and memory.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the role of formal education and the importance of play, and your conclusion makes your preference for combining them reasonably clear. Relevant points include play supporting health and reducing stress, and education providing a foundation for later study. However, the position is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph appears to prioritise completing education before playing, while the second argues that pupils should focus only on education. These claims do not fully support your final view that play and learning should be balanced. The examples, including the reference to Elon Musk, are not clearly connected to primary-school learning and are insufficiently explained. Develop a consistent answer to both questions and explain how classroom play can support children’s learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “in conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several claims are joined together without clear explanation. For example, the first body paragraph moves from completing education to outdoor games, stress and balancing activities in one long sentence. The contrast between the two body paragraphs is also unclear, and the conclusion introduces “memory” without developing it earlier. Use one main idea per paragraph, connect each supporting example directly to that idea, and make the relationship between your points explicit rather than relying mainly on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “overall growth,” “decreasing stress,” “physical activities,” and “health is wealth.” These expressions show an attempt to discuss both educational and physical development. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “some off beleave,” “become words first trillioner,” and “games sharp the student's brain.” Spelling errors, including “deceases,” “sucessful,” and “cariear,” are also noticeable and can distract the reader. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than ambitious but unclear wording. For example, describe play as supporting children’s “physical and social development,” and explain that it can “improve concentration” or “reinforce classroom learning.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to write both simple statements and longer sentences, and the response is generally recognisable despite frequent grammatical problems. However, complex sentences are often faulty or difficult to interpret. In “if children study their primary education then he plays outdoor,” the conditional structure, pronoun agreement and verb forms are not controlled. There are also repeated errors with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “the the education” and the long run-on sentence beginning “On the one hand.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine related ideas using clear clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, pronouns, articles and full stops, especially when revising longer sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.