Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

A Number of the individuals are doing the argue in that primary school constuntration too much on follow the all ruels.I agree with this statment.

To beging with,school should learn with rules & regulation.Beacuse If learners learn with rules & regulation in starting learning age so learners are know the learning style and other diciplean.in addition learners come in big standerds age so know the all situation or other decipliean. Learners made strongly and we can solv all problems,and if children play with learn it''s a very better than only study an study.children all sums and all questions all activity understand easily,know new new activity or understand all subjects.

children play with learn so easily understand all subjects,all sums,all activitys,all ABCD to 1 TO 100 numbers so easily understand in primery school beacause when chidren learn in primary school when his/her mind is started new earth movments or earth new humans activity,he/she learn new activity and strted understand new tecnology's machines and new sillaybus so it is important for who childrens who strated his/her learning juorney.

In my opinon is both sentence is wright beacuse if children learn with deciplean and learn with play games and know the new activitys so it is important both sentence it;'s idea is very best in school who school follow the rules & regulation so if i learn in school time to i happly goes school and i happy and frelly learn all subjects

In my conlution it's best in worls no1 school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear overall view that children should both learn and play, especially in “both sentence is wright” and your statement that learning through games is better than studying alone. You also mention possible benefits, such as understanding subjects and activities more easily. However, the response only minimally answers the question: it does not clearly explain whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the reasons are repeated or difficult to follow rather than developed with a relevant example. The conclusion, “best in worls no1 school,” does not reinforce your argument. The response is also one word below the required minimum. To strengthen your answer, state your position directly on formal learning, explain two distinct reasons, and support one with a specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: you begin with your opinion, use paragraph breaks, and include linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” and “In my opinion.” These features give the reader a general sense of the response’s direction. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas recur—for example, that play helps children understand subjects and activities appears in several paragraphs—without each paragraph developing a separate point. Connections between sentences are often unclear, and the final paragraph does not provide a logical summary of the argument. Plan one paragraph about formal learning and another about the value of play, then use clear topic sentences and link each supporting explanation directly to its main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on words such as “learn,” “children,” “activity,” and “subjects.” Some phrases communicate relevant ideas, including “rules & regulation” and “play games,” but inaccurate word choice and spelling often strain the reader’s effort to understand. Examples include “primary school constuntration,” “big standerds age,” and “new earth movments,” whose intended meanings are unclear. The response also uses informal or unsuitable expressions such as “no1 school.” Build a small set of accurate topic vocabulary—such as “formal instruction,” “classroom activities,” and “social skills”—and use it precisely. Check spelling and choose familiar, clear words rather than attempting phrases whose meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to express opinions and reasons, including “I agree with this statement” and clauses beginning with “because” and “if.” However, sentence patterns are very limited overall, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “learners are know the learning style” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “both sentence is wright” does not show correct agreement or sentence structure. Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, as in the opening of the final paragraph. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine related ideas with accurate “because” or “when” clauses. Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms before adding more complex structures.

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