Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

At the present, some individual believe that primary schools should pay attention deeply on formal learning.

I partially agree with this oponion. Although academic learning help children to make more educated and children can introduced with many unknown things by formal learning, sometimes it may pressure on children's brain as well as sometimes they feel tried with their too much studies.

Formal learning play vital role in individual's life especially for children. They can learn more and more things and gain their knowledge sharply. If primary schools focus too muchon formal learning, children can discover many unique things. However sometimes too much studies may experience many types of health issues. From my prespective, primary schools should focus giving some entertain alongside academic studies. This is because some enjoyable things are very important to enhance their mood and productivity. For example, sometimes children do not want to study, at this moment some enjoyable things make them happier. As a result, they feel better and they enjoy their studies by doing some activities such as singing a song, playing a games. Those are very important to keep refresh their mind.

From my perspective, it is very important for children to play as well as learn in classroom. Play is more significant thing for every children's lives. Sometimes playing game can boost their creativity. Furthermore it can bring happiness and reduce strees in children's lives. For instance, when a school arranges play zone, children may encourage by it. Therefore they show interest to go their school and it can reduce absence. Additionally, it makes them unwind after academic pressure.

In conclusion, while formal learning play a vital role in children's lives, from my perspective combination of plays and studies are more important for children's well being becauce play has positive effect on children's mind. I think primary schools shuold arrange some entertain for children's refresh mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and make your position clear: you partially agree that formal learning can be overemphasised, and you state that play should accompany study. Relevant reasons include the pressure of excessive study, the benefits of play for creativity and mood, and the possibility that a play area could encourage attendance. These points keep the response focused. However, some ideas are more fully addressed than others: the benefits of formal learning are asserted rather than explained, and the example about a play zone reducing absence needs clearer support. To strengthen the response, develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example and make the extent of your agreement more explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally group related ideas, and linking expressions such as “However,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help show relationships between points. At times, though, progression is repetitive: the importance of play, happiness and reduced pressure is repeated across both body paragraphs and the conclusion without adding much new development. Some connections are also unclear, such as the move from children enjoying activities to the claim that they will enjoy their studies. Use each paragraph to develop a distinct point, and make links between claims and examples more explicit. This would make the organisation feel less repetitive and the cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “productivity,” “creativity,” and “academic pressure,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as play helping children “unwind.” However, the range is limited by repeated words such as “important,” “children,” and “play,” while several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear: “pay attention deeply,” “gain their knowledge sharply,” and “some entertain” do not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors such as “prespective,” “strees,” and “becauce” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing learning and development, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession with “Although” and clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “while.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and plurals occur across the response. For example, “Formal learning play” should have a singular verb, and “children can introduced” needs a correctly formed verb phrase. In “playing a games,” the article and plural do not agree. Some sentence patterns are also awkwardly constructed, which makes relationships between ideas less clear. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and noun phrases, then revise complex sentences to ensure each clause is grammatically complete.

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