Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on academic learning. I completely agree with this statement that school nowadays focus on formal learning rather then of doing some physical activities at school.

On one hand, if we looked at the school students they are completely weak its due to the pressure from the teacher and as well as from thier exam like the students have no physical activities to play at schools due to which thier mind is force to studies and they do not have enogh time to play and do some physical activities. For example, schools are nowdays doing competition with other schools in the education due to which students are also force to do more studies and they did not find enough time for refreshesment and students are in stress due to thier education purposes.

On the other it is very important for children to play as well as learn in thier classroom in the primary school like if children get bored from thier education, therefore it is the responsibility of thier teacher to play with there students by doing alot of activities such as playing football, vollyball, cricket as well as by arranging some class of cooking so with this activities students will take intrest in thier education as well as they will strong and fresh in the classroom.

IN conclusion, i completely agree that playing in the priamry level is very important for the students health and as well as for thier education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear position by saying, “I completely agree,” and you address both the concern about formal learning and the importance of play. The examples of school competitions, stress, and classroom activities such as sports and cooking are relevant. However, the reasons are mostly asserted rather than explained: for instance, you say students become “weak” and stressed, but do not clarify the effects or support these claims with a specific example. The discussion of how play supports learning is also brief. The response is 231 words, so it is 19 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop your ideas. Explain each main point more fully and add a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs broadly separate the disadvantages of excessive formal study from the benefits of play, which helps the reader follow your main points. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several ideas are joined in long sentences without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from pressure to lack of activities, school competitions and stress in one extended sequence. Linking phrases such as “On one hand” and “On the other” provide some organisation, but the connections can feel mechanical, and “therefore” does not clearly connect the ideas in the second body paragraph. Use shorter, more clearly ordered sentences and make each paragraph develop one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general argument, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “pressure,” “stress” and “responsibility.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For example, “weak” does not precisely describe the effect of academic pressure, while “refreshesment” and “take intrest” show spelling errors. Phrases such as “competition with other schools in the education” and “strong and fresh” are also unnatural in this context. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling carefully. The suggestions below offer alternatives that better express your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and reason clauses, as in “if children get bored from their education, therefore…” and “due to which students…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “school nowadays focus,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “their mind is force to studies,” where the verb form and sentence structure are incorrect. There are also problems with articles, pronouns and sentence boundaries, particularly in the long first body paragraph. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check agreement and verb forms.

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