Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools pay too much attention toformal learning. I agree that schools concentrate too much on formal learning. I think students should have more time to learn and play and explore their interests.

I strongly agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning because students at this stage need freedom. At primary schools students do not adapt the eductional rules as a result if the ways of teaching them are formal they would hate the schools. For instance, if schools have 6 lessons per day, the students will spend more time to study so they cannot enjoy. My school used to teach us many lessons as well as long classes so many students were sskipping the classes because they think that they are stressed out. However, formal learning could make students feel anxious, students have to attend all the classes.

I believe that students at primary schools should play and have different activities beside their classes because they are at a dicovery stage.Schools should have more flexible time table for primary learners such as playing football, drawing ,singing. Students have at this age have many hobbies so if school give them extra time to have fun they can be more productive in the future. For example, teaching alphabets as a song would help students to memorize them for ever because they are enjoying while learning. By using games and fun activities, teachers can make lessons more enjoyable. Consequently,children may develop a positive attitude towards learning.

In conclusion, I agree that primary school focus too much on formal learning. However, children should have more time freedom to play and explore because this can make learning more enjoyable and improve their creativity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you address the importance of play. The response also gives relevant support, including the example of long lessons causing pupils to skip classes and the idea of teaching the alphabet through a song. This meets the task well, while the clear, consistent stance and relevant examples show some qualities beyond a basic response. However, the first body paragraph focuses mainly on the negative effects of formal lessons, and the second gives only brief explanation of how play supports development. Develop these points further—for example, explain how play builds social skills or creativity and how schools can balance it with core learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct purposes, and a conclusion that restates your view. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “However,” and “Consequently” help show relationships between ideas. At times, though, cohesion feels mechanical or the connections are unclear. In the first body paragraph, “as a result” joins ideas without clear punctuation, and “However” introduces a point that does not strongly contrast with the preceding claim. The second paragraph also moves quickly from hobbies to future productivity and then to alphabet songs. Use clearer transitions and develop each paragraph around a more consistent sequence of claim, explanation, and example; check that pronouns and references clearly identify the ideas they refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “flexible time table,” “productive,” “positive attitude,” and “creativity,” so the main ideas are generally clear. There are also attempts to express more specific concepts, such as “discovery stage.” However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors limit precision: “dicovery” is misspelled, “extra time to have fun” is informal and vague, and “more time freedom” is not a natural phrase. “Students have at this age have many hobbies” also contains an awkward expression. Aim for more accurate, natural combinations and proofread spelling. For example, describe children as being at an exploratory stage and refer to time for recreational activities rather than simply “fun.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if schools have 6 lessons per day” and a reason-result sentence beginning “because.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the intended meaning is usually understandable. Some errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “At primary schools students do not adapt the eductional rules as a result if the ways of teaching them are formal they would hate the schools” joins several clauses without clear boundaries and has an unclear conditional structure. “If school give them extra time” needs subject–verb agreement, while “students have at this age have” repeats the verb. Practise separating long sentences and checking agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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