Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, the primary school fully focused studies. Mostly people says that most of the parimary schools focus too much on farmal learning. I agree with this view of the mostly people because i also observe this most all of the institution targeted in learning and the physical activity in these schools almost equal to nothing.

To the begin with, the primary school mostly 99% time spend in learning and the physical activity in these school is equavelant to zero this is mostly effect on the mind of little age students. Most of the people notice and talk about at all time study badly effect of students mind. For example most of the time students sit in same place and focused only in learning with the only learning and sitting in one student don't focus on learns and other the students effect on health issues.

Moreover, the importance of playing as well as learning is very important factor of childrens life with the learning and playing any physical activites children imporve his mental and physical health and actively participate in studies and physical activities, furthermore children perform well in every field. For instance comprise two childerns first is only focused in learning and the second student is involved in both activities learning and play the second students perform well rather than fisrt student that is both activities is important in students life.

In conclusion, the primary schools only focused in learning this is very bad of students life. Most people talks about parimary school perfer more in learning but I also agree with him talks and obeservation. But learning with play physical game or activities is very important of little students life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a clear position: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you explain that play supports children’s mental and physical health. The comparison between a child who only studies and one who also plays is relevant, as is your point about sitting for long periods. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that schools spend “99%” of their time on learning is not supported, and the example comparing two children does not show clearly how play improves learning or performance. Develop one or two points with a specific, realistic example and explain the link between play, wellbeing, and classroom learning more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the main issues, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within sentences and paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the ideas about sitting, concentration, and health are joined without clear relationships. Some linking phrases are also mechanical or do not introduce a fully developed example. Use shorter, more clearly connected sentences, and make each paragraph follow a simple sequence: main point, explanation, and supporting example. Clearer references to “the first child” and “the second child” would also improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “physical activity,” “mental and physical health,” and “participate,” so the reader can identify your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the writing less natural, such as “farmal learning,” “equavelant to zero,” and “effect on the mind.” Repetition of “learning,” “students,” and “important” also limits precision. Aim to learn common topic phrases as complete units, such as “formal instruction,” “physical development,” and “concentration in class.” Proofreading spelling and choosing accurate forms will make your meaning clearer and help you express the relationship between play and learning more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a comparison introduced by “For instance” and a concluding sentence beginning “In conclusion.” The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors make individual sentences hard to interpret. For example, “the primary school mostly 99% time spend in learning” has problems with word order and verb form, while “the second students perform well rather than fisrt student” has errors in agreement and comparison structure. There are also inconsistent singular and plural forms and missing articles. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “while,” or “which.” Check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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