Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The importance of education play a vital role in human life which was always been debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that schools now a days focus too much on formal learning and some say play is also valuable for childrens. I agree with the statement that with learning skills kids also have to involve in playing. I will give my view in easy.

The first and the foremost reason behind this is that children are not becoming socialist. They do not have that confidence to do communication. For instance, schools only focus on studying due to which they are becoming bookworm. They come home with lots of homework and start studying again for next 6-7 hours. They do not get time to make friends or go out for play. Moreover, they mentally and physical not healthy. The stress of studies and exam make their mind stressful and depressed.

On the other hand, play is very important for children with formal learning in schools. When children play they will learn so many skills. They start doing team work and easily communicate with each other. For instance, in many games like football or hockey kids learn teamwork, sharing and leadership qualities. Furthermore, they do not effect with any health issues like obesity and they feel fresh. In addition, children get to know about the value of games and they can play at olympic level and win medals for their country.

In conclusion, I believe formal learning is very important for children development but they have to be take part in some games or play so they become healthy, social and happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that children need play alongside formal learning, and you address both the emphasis on academic study and the value of play. Relevant reasons include limited opportunities to socialise, stress, teamwork, communication and physical health. The examples of football and hockey help make the benefits concrete. This meets the task well, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that children may play at Olympic level and win medals is not closely connected to why classroom play matters, and the effects of excessive homework could be illustrated or developed further. To strengthen the response, explain how schools can balance lessons and play, and extend each main reason with a clear example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting concerns about formal study and benefits of play, and a conclusion that restates your view. Linking phrases such as “For instance,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” help signal examples and added points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with several ideas joined by simple additions rather than showing how they relate. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and “On the other hand” suggests a contrast that is not fully clear because the paragraph continues to support your position. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to its main point. More precise referencing and a wider range of logical links would make the argument flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “teamwork,” “leadership qualities,” “obesity,” and “formal learning.” There are also attempts to use topic-related expressions, but word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. Examples include “children are not becoming socialist,” “do communication,” “their mind stressful,” and “they do not effect with any health issues.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “childrens” and “now a days” also reduce control. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check whether a word fits its intended meaning. More precise phrasing would help you express the same ideas clearly without relying on repeated general words such as “important” and “play.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “due to which,” and “when,” and the reader can generally follow your main argument. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in the opening and in sentences with several clauses. For example, “The importance of education play a vital role … which was always been debatable” has problems with agreement and verb forms, while “they have to be take part” uses an incorrect verb pattern. Other examples include “they mentally and physical not healthy” and “The stress of studies and exam make their mind stressful and depressed,” where sentence structure and agreement need attention. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms after modal verbs, and complete sentence patterns. Shorter, carefully checked sentences will improve accuracy while you continue developing complex structures.

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