Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The view of some individuals about primary school contradict with others. The arguments revolves around the fact that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, leaving behind the extra curricular activities. I persume that learning through play and formal learning both are equally important, extra activities trains the child brain to be smart and more productive.

To begin with, I agree with the fact that formal learning helps to develop the habbit of time management, punctuality, and attentiveness. But, In my perspective, focusing on formal learnming methods to the extreme by skipping the playtime only burdens the mind. Children in the primary level are young souls who recently initiated their school journey. Play activities are a kind of motivation, which pushes them to attend the school every morning. I believe that the cocurricular activities should not be eliminated, as they are one of the building block of the personality of a child.

In addition to this, the importance of learning the academics and playing in the classroom both are crucial in child's development. In contrast to this, my friend admitted her child in a school who are inspired by "learning through play" concept. This concept is inspired by Finland which is known for the highest percentage of happy people in the world. They teach him with the help of activities, like cooking pancakes, singing, creating models with clay, changing their outfits, and many other activities which helps in the development of their motor skills. They have a pretend play area where each corner dipicts the actual home. With the help of these activites, child can now sing different poems, with vast range of vocabulary. This is the reason that made me in the favor of learning through play. I think that children will eventually focus more formal learning at the secondary school level, but the primary school life should have balance of play and learning activities.

In conclusion to this, learning institutes are the foundation of building a child's character. It is important to give young children a playful learning environment which helps them to evolve and convert into a responsible humanbeing in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you support a balance between formal learning and play, and you address both the value of academic learning and the importance of classroom activities. The example of your friend’s child gives relevant support, with details such as cooking, singing and making models, and you explain how these activities can develop motor skills and vocabulary. This helps extend your main argument. However, the point that formal learning builds time management and attentiveness is asserted rather than illustrated, and the claim about Finland and happiness is not clearly connected to the educational benefits. Develop these points with more precise explanation and avoid broad claims so that all parts of your argument are consistently well supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from the role of formal learning to the benefits of play, and the example about your friend’s child gives the second body paragraph a clear focus. You also use linking expressions such as “To begin with” and “In addition to this.” At times, however, these links are mechanical or do not express the relationship accurately: “In contrast to this” introduces a supporting example rather than a contrast, while “In conclusion to this” is awkward. Some references, such as “This concept” and “these activities,” could be more precise. Use transitions selectively and make the connection between each example and its point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “time management,” “attentiveness,” “motor skills” and “vocabulary.” These terms help communicate relevant ideas, and you attempt more specific expressions such as “learning through play” and “pretend play area.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “extra curricular activities trains,” “young souls,” and “in the favor of learning through play.” Spelling errors such as “persume,” “habbit” and “dipicts” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but careful proofreading and more natural academic phrasing would make your vocabulary more precise and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause in “I believe that the cocurricular activities should not be eliminated” and a longer sentence explaining the activities at the school. The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “The view … contradict with others” has a subject–verb agreement and sentence-pattern problem, while “extra activities trains” and “one of the building block” show agreement and plural errors. Articles and sentence construction also need attention in “both are crucial in child's development.” Review agreement, articles and plural forms, and check long sentences for clear structure. More consistently accurate sentences would strengthen the control shown in your varied attempts.

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