Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that early education has become overly academic. I largely agree that this trend is harmful, and I believe that play is not just leisure but a crucial part of learning at primary level.

One reason is that stress and anxiety because some students are not went to school and when parents are fully forced to student then it produced the stress. In addition, some student's minds are not prepared the learning then it gained the anxiety and loss the creativity. For example, some students are not take the writing test because student are not take test to school in nursery. Students hate the reading and writing test and produce stress.

Other reasons that important of play because students are main role to play the playground. Whenever, students are playing games and then there are fresh mind. In addition, students are highly concentrated to formal learning and obtained the top position in our schools. All students are important play for formal learning because they are produced highly energy and fully concentrated. Students are focus to manage the formal learning as a teamwork and other way. For instance there are the best primary school in Finland because students has been playing for 15 minutes and formal learning for 15 minutes. In Finland, the schools are equality activities for playing and learning.

In conclusion, while basic literacy and numeracy are essential, an excessive focus on formal instruction is counterproductive. Play should be integrated into the curriculum because it makes children healthier, more social, and actually better learners.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear in the introduction and conclusion: you largely agree that formal learning can be excessive, and you argue that play supports children’s learning. You address both questions, including the importance of play, and the Finland example is relevant. However, the reasons are often difficult to follow or insufficiently explained. For instance, the point about children experiencing stress is repeated, but the link between formal instruction and the example of writing tests is not made clear. The claim that play helps students achieve top positions also needs explanation or evidence. To strengthen the response, develop each main reason with a clear explanation and a specific, credible example, while keeping your position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use linking expressions such as “In addition,” “For example” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within the body paragraphs is uneven: several ideas are placed together without clear connections, and some points repeat, such as the claims that play is important and improves concentration. “Whenever” does not clearly introduce the relationship intended, while “Other reasons that important of play” makes the paragraph’s direction hard to follow. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain it and give a directly related example. Use linking words only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “stress and anxiety,” “creativity,” “teamwork” and “curriculum.” The opening and conclusion also show an attempt to express ideas beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “students are main role to play the playground,” “fresh mind” and “equality activities.” Repetition of “students,” “play” and “formal learning” also limits flexibility. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing education and child development, and check how words combine in English. More precise vocabulary will help you explain your ideas without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the response includes some subordinate clauses, such as “because it makes children healthier…” However, the range is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “some students are not went to school” has an incorrect verb form, while “some student's minds are not prepared the learning” has problems with both sentence structure and the verb pattern. There are also recurring errors in agreement and tense, as in “students has been playing.” Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then extend them with one clear reason or example. Pay particular attention to verb forms, subject–verb agreement, articles and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.