Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Public have an opinion that the primary schools give too much attention toward formal learning. I believed that this opinion is really true at some extent because the behaviour of our students clearly describe the whole reason.

The school administration are in the race of good grades in board exam, so they got famous by securing a position but mentaly the students were too much tired and school do not give attention to this aspect. The heavy school workload and no time for entertainment change the behaviour of students. Education is important for every child but playing games and enjoying the moments are very important for students mental and physical health.

Consequently, the developed countries whose education system is on top of the world like Finland, Norway, they have proper curriculum for primary schools. Instead of totally focus on formal learning they also give them proper chance and time to play in school time. A playing ground is mandatory in school without it the authorties do not allow to run a school.

The primary school is not only a place of learning, the childern also learn alot through entertainment like playing cricket, footbal, hockey etc. It is not only refreshes their minds but also build the qualities of teamwork and leadership during playing the games. So, a balance approach would be a good combination between the formal learning and entertainment of primary school students.

To conclude, our primary eduaction system is design to give much importance to formal learning while entertainment and playing is not consider in their curriculum.This behaviour could decline the student interest and attention in study.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you explain that play supports children’s mental and physical health. You also address both parts of the question by discussing the balance between lessons and play, with examples such as team sports developing teamwork and leadership. These relevant points meet the task well. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that heavy workloads change students’ behaviour would be stronger with a specific consequence or example. The references to Finland and Norway are also broad and not linked to evidence. Develop these points further and clarify how much you agree to make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: it introduces your view, gives reasons and examples in separate paragraphs, and ends with a conclusion. The progression from workload and wellbeing to the benefits of play is generally easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Consequently,” “Instead of,” and “To conclude” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. “Consequently” does not clearly show how the previous point leads to the examples about other countries, and “this behaviour” in the conclusion has an uncertain reference. Improve cohesion by making links between claims explicit and using pronouns only when their referents are clear. A more focused topic sentence for each body paragraph would also strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “school workload,” “mental and physical health,” “curriculum,” and “teamwork and leadership.” This gives you enough range to communicate your main ideas, and some choices, such as “mandatory,” show an attempt at more precise language. However, noticeable word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors reduce naturalness: “attention toward” is awkward, “a balance approach” is inaccurate, and “mental health” is misspelled as “mentaly.” Other errors include “authorties,” “childern,” and “eduaction.” Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would also help you explain the effects of play and formal study.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “because the behaviour of our students…” and a contrast structure beginning “Instead of…”. Most of your meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences awkward. For example, “The school administration are” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the students were too much tired” has an incorrect construction. In “It is not only refreshes their minds,” the verb form is faulty, and “a balance approach would be” needs an article and adjective form that agree. Review agreement, verb patterns, articles, and sentence boundaries. Greater control of these structures would make your argument clearer and more fluent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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