Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is undeniable that primary learning creates the foundation of a student. Some people hold the opinion that primary schools focus on formal learning a lot, and I completely agree with this view. In addition, I also believe that it is very significant for the children to play as well as learn in their classroom. In this essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples.

Primary schools tech the student not only basic education but also their behaviours and other things. To create their foundation, sometimes they follow formal learning regarding teaching formal languages. For example, in Bangladesh, English is taught from the primary level concisely including English literature and grammar. However, since English is an international language, it is essential for a student to learn English accurately to smooth their future career as every job sector and further study abroad require English. Consequently, it helps positively to bright their future as well as to compete in the broader platform.

Primary level shape the children for deciding their aim in life. Learning their lessons bring numerous benefits as well as playing it the classroom,

In conclusion, both are important for them and I firmly support them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position, saying you “completely agree” that schools focus too much on formal learning, and you also recognise that play is important. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: most of the first body paragraph explains why English is useful, rather than showing that formal learning is excessive or explaining how play benefits children. The second body paragraph is unfinished and gives no supporting example or explanation. The conclusion simply says both are important, leaving your position on the balance between formal study and play unclear. The response is 189 words, 61 words below the 250-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop both parts of the question with specific reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “However” and “Consequently” show an attempt to connect ideas. Nevertheless, the ideas are not arranged into a coherent argument. The first body paragraph moves from general claims about primary education to English instruction and career prospects, without connecting these points to the claim that formal learning receives too much emphasis. The next paragraph ends abruptly after “playing it the classroom,” so the reader cannot follow a complete point about play. The conclusion does not resolve the argument. Use one focused paragraph for each question, develop each point in a logical sequence, and check that every paragraph is complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “foundation,” “formal learning,” “international language” and “broader platform,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “primary learning,” “tech the student,” “playing it the classroom” and “bright their future.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand. There is also repetition of basic terms such as “student,” “learning” and “important.” Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing classroom activities and child development, and learn common word partnerships. For example, describe lessons as “teach students” and say that education can “improve their future prospects.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a few longer sentence forms, including “since English is an international language, it is essential…” and the sentence beginning “To create their foundation…”. This shows some ability to connect clauses, but the range is limited and complex attempts are often faulty. Examples include “primary schools focus on formal learning a lot,” where the adverb placement is awkward, and “Primary level shape the children,” which has a subject–verb agreement error and an incomplete article pattern. “Learning their lessons bring numerous benefits” also has agreement problems, while the final body paragraph is not a complete sentence. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check singular/plural agreement, articles and sentence completeness during proofreading.

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