Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In today,s rapidly changing world have long been ongoing among peoples it has many pros and cons. However, in the vicinity of hometown most of the peoples are well educated an his thoughts their childrens stying in good formal schools.

Becoming world is more advanced and technology is spread all over the world so most of the school and colleges gives the formal education to students and they haired graduated and professor level teacher for his schools because they want to gave upstanding quality of learning to the students. most of the individuals are argue to this changing because they knew it those students will become succesfull in his life must be learning english. Englist is the global language and they speak all over the world.

I personally in to it. Student will be come mature and they achieved the goals who his dreams. most of the countrries to preffer for study abroad ielts if he completed his degree in formal language its easy for us and they learnet business skill and how give interview to the other its best for communication skills. In kindergarten invigorating that an excursion in the natural sights and sounds know the all things about formal early star in school they assimilated it is an important place for education and enlightenment.

For example, If there is a dearth of interesting places and resources for recreation. However in the vicinity of my hometown there are copious housing societies with modern amenities and which individuals are living in it they are all of formal educated and they knew how to live there.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes a personal statement—“I personally in to it”—and mentions formal education, English, and children’s experiences, so it shows some engagement with the topic. However, the position on whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is not clearly expressed, and the second question about the importance of play is barely answered. The discussion shifts to studying abroad, IELTS, and housing societies without explaining how these points support an argument about primary classrooms. The example about an excursion and natural sights could be relevant, but its meaning and connection to play are unclear. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement directly, address both questions, and develop a relevant example showing how play supports children’s learning or wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response is divided into paragraphs, and it uses a few linking expressions such as “However,” “because,” and “For example.” These provide some basic signposting. However, the ideas do not progress in a clear sequence: the opening refers to education generally, the next paragraph discusses technology and English, and later paragraphs move to studying abroad and housing societies. Several connections are difficult to follow, particularly the transition from formal education to the excursion and then to the hometown example. Some sentences also combine unrelated points, making the relationships between ideas unclear. Organise the essay around a clear position, with one paragraph explaining formal learning and another explaining the value of play; use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between those ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts a range of topic-related and less common vocabulary, including “formal education,” “communication skills,” “excursion,” “natural sights and sounds,” and “enlightenment.” This shows an effort to express ideas beyond very basic language. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand, such as “upstanding quality of learning,” “invigorating that an excursion,” and “dearth of interesting places and resources for recreation.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “succesfull,” “Englist,” and “formal educated,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than inserting advanced-sounding words: for example, explain that play can “develop social skills” or that schools should “balance classroom instruction with play-based learning.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form longer sentences and express cause and contrast, for example, “because they want to gave…” and “However in the vicinity of my hometown…”. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to interpret, and control of basic forms is inconsistent. The opening, “In today,s rapidly changing world have long been ongoing,” lacks a clear subject and complete clause. Other examples include “most of the school and colleges gives” and “Student will be come mature,” where agreement and verb forms are not controlled. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, including sentence starts such as “most” and “If.” Build accuracy with clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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