Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

At the present time some people argue that primary schools too much on formal learning .I party agree beacause learning is most important for children life they are focus are studities but childrean play as well as learn the primary school have valuble.

Some people say primary shools have focus on learning to studities it is true beacause nowdays most of childran learning the primary school.Primary schools is taid for sutudy any anthing roules is hard.Study is top class ,and schools fee is expensive most of people not effoct for this fee.Second focued think reading and writing primary schools everything lettle lette thinks focued such as childran learning to writing they are miste to meaning any this primary schools teachers and mam focus for misteks .

Howere childran plya as well as learn in primary school classrom is most important for childrean life beacause childran are not any time learning to formal read childran others activites actives .They are likely to other play learn .Childrean enjoj to other games.

In my opinion primary schools focus too formal learning it is a good think but childrean have a play as well lear the other activies is very valuable in children life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a position—“I party agree”—and touch on both formal learning and the value of play, so the response is relevant to the question. However, the position and reasons are only minimally developed: the discussion of reading and writing is difficult to follow, and the benefits of play are stated mainly as children enjoying games, without explaining how play supports learning or development. The response also does not clearly explain how much you agree with the claim that schools focus too heavily on formal learning. The required minimum of 250 words is not met; at 200 words, there is limited space to develop the argument. Add clear reasons and a relevant example for each main point, then state your view consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph about formal study, one about play, and a brief conclusion. This gives the reader some indication of how the answer is organised. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow, and links between ideas are often unclear. For example, “Study is top class, and schools fee is expensive” introduces a point about cost without showing how it supports the argument. Connect each paragraph’s ideas in a clear sequence, and use linking phrases to show contrast or cause and effect. The conclusion repeats the general position but does not bring the reasons together. Clear topic sentences and more precise references would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

You use a small set of relevant words, including “formal learning,” “reading and writing,” “teachers,” and “activities,” which shows awareness of the topic. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain the reader’s understanding. Examples include “party agree,” “primary shools,” “childrean,” and “misteks.” Some phrases, such as “primary schools everything lettle lette thinks focued,” are not clear enough to communicate the intended idea. Build a reliable range of topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. Choose precise expressions for the benefits of play, such as social skills, creativity, or problem-solving, rather than repeating general references to games and learning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express opinions and give reasons, and there are a few simple sentence patterns, such as “Childrean enjoj to other games.” However, the range of sentence structures is very limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes distort meaning. For instance, “primary schools have focus on learning” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase, while “primary schools is taid for sutudy” has problems with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction. Several ideas run together without clear sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using “because,” “although,” and “while.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and use full stops consistently.

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