Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people says that there are too much focus on formal learning. I completely agree with that to play the children as well as they learn in primary school's classroom.

To begin with ,focus on study is very important for children. On the other hand, to play children is very beneficial for their health and their mindset. To learn the lesson on daily basis without give any chance to play sports is obviosly effact on children's mind. They feel bore and their mind never accept the instructionsn to do anything without any chnace of play games in ground with their freinds. For example, if a student playing sports with his friend in the playground and after that when he sit on a study table for complete his homwork, he definately complete his work, learn the lesson that his teacher provides him, his mind feels relax and he wants to do more work and while playing games like football, bedmintan, cricket or something like that his health will be improve and he feels healthy.

Secondly, why i said that to play sports as well as learn due to the main reason is only for their mind and their health. While playing and learn in school children will be helpul to make more freinds and increase the confidance in children. They will be well known that how to talk with people. In addition, from playing children will be increase their score in exam, achieve medals, build good character in study and also in sports.

From my prepective, I strongly agree with that to play games with their studies because it keeps them healthy and helps them to build a good character among each other. Moreovere, it provides them physical and mental strength.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly support children having opportunities to play alongside formal learning, and you give relevant reasons, including health, relaxation, friendships and confidence. The example of a child playing before completing homework helps illustrate your point. However, the response only partly develops the question of whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning: you say study is important, but do not explain what an appropriate balance or classroom approach would look like. Some claims, such as play increasing exam scores and building character, are asserted rather than explained or supported. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or specific example, and address both parts of the prompt more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an opening position, two body paragraphs introduced by “To begin with” and “Secondly,” and a concluding statement. The ideas are generally related to the topic, and examples help the reader follow your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track: the first body paragraph moves from study to health, boredom, homework and several sports in one long sequence. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” do not always show a clear contrast, and repeated references to playing and learning make the argument feel repetitive. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, then explain and illustrate it in a more deliberate order, using clearer links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related words, including “formal learning,” “playground,” “confidance,” “medals” and “physical and mental strength,” so your meaning is usually understandable. However, the vocabulary range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make parts harder to read, such as “obviosly,” “freinds,” “homwork” and “bedmintan.” Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “increase their score in exam” and “build good character in study.” Aim to learn accurate topic vocabulary and common word partnerships, and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for the benefits of play would help you explain your ideas without repeating “play” and “healthy.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if a student playing sports…” and a sentence using “While playing and learn…”. These attempts show an effort to connect ideas, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to follow. For instance, “Some people says” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “there are too much focus” has an incorrect construction. Verb forms are also inconsistent in “if a student playing” and “children will be helpul,” and sentence boundaries are unclear in the long homework example. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a correctly formed subordinate clause before extending them.

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