Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modernworld,primary schools have become a important part in the children life. As this is the first professional step in their education.Most of the people argue that the kids are still to young to already focus much of their time on their formal learning.While the importance of primary school can not be declined beacuse they play an important or crucial role in increasing literacy of a country.

I partially agree to this opinion.While there are both the advantages and disadvantages of formal learning for childrens.Firstly, the main advantages is to give a taste of professinal education to childrens.In this way they learn how to manage their syllabus in accordance to the time given in each term.By following it they learn the importance of time.Secondly,they learn about the fundamentals of higher level education.For instance they can learn how to add,subtract,multiply and divide digits.Which in my opinion is very important .For example in my family my cousin who's in 10th grade can't perform simple calculations without the use of calculator.If he had focused on the basics when he had the chance he would't be this bad in simple maths.

Moreover,there are also a few disadvantages.First and foremost being a bookworm at this age is not very beneficial for the kids growth and health.They should aslo focus on outdoor activities such as cricket,football and hockey. Rather than being entirely focused on books which can affect their posture in a longterm.For example my sister has a poor posture because she used to entirely focus on studies rather than doing any kind of sports activity with me.Secondly if they get bad grades they can face stress,anxiety and other kinds of mental problems.

To sum it up,formal education at primary level is important as playing or doing any kind of physical activity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partially agree that formal learning can be excessive, while also recognising its value. You address both questions by discussing foundational academic skills and the importance of sport and wellbeing. The examples about your cousin’s calculations and your sister’s posture make the points relevant and personal. However, the second question—how important play is alongside learning in the classroom—is not fully answered: you mainly describe outdoor sport and its benefits, rather than explaining how classroom play supports learning or how schools should balance the two. Some claims, such as the link between studying and poor posture, would also benefit from clearer explanation. Develop these points and make your final position more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, one on disadvantages, and a concluding sentence. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “Moreover,” and “To sum it up” help readers follow the main stages, and the examples generally appear beside the ideas they support. This meets the lower-band expectation for clear organisation and shows some features of more flexible progression. However, the conclusion is very brief and does not bring together the two sides or directly resolve the question of balancing play and learning. Some links are mechanical, and sentence fragments such as “Which in my opinion is very important” interrupt the flow. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “fundamentals,” “outdoor activities,” and “stress, anxiety.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “manage their syllabus” and “simple calculations,” although some combinations are not natural or precise. Noticeable spelling and word-choice errors—such as “professinal,” “childrens,” and “declined” where “denied” or “disputed” may be intended—reduce accuracy and sometimes make the reader pause. Several phrases are also vague or awkward, including “a taste of professional education” and “bad in simple maths.” Build a more reliable range of collocations for education and child development, and proofread spelling and word forms so your ideas sound precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional reasoning in “If he had focused on the basics … he wouldn’t be this bad” and clauses introduced by “because” and “while.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas harder to follow. For example, “As this is the first professional step in their education” is a sentence fragment, while “the main advantages is” has a subject–verb agreement error. Article and plural forms also need attention in “a important part” and “for childrens.” Punctuation and spacing are uneven, and some sentences are joined or separated inappropriately. Practise complete sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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