Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I totally disagree with the point here, Focusing too much on formal learning can prepare the students mind like an Robot, as there should be both they can be able to focus on other things too.

Education often leans heavily towards to students structures academic instruction.

I believe that many schools intend & allow children to play & learn as well in the primary classroom. Without any kind of activity if child only going to focus on learning they will get mentally disturb for an example subjects likes mathematics & science needs more interest & concentration but while continue doing the same there mind will get disturb they wont be able to focus properly.

Yound children are are naturally curious & have eager to learn new things with best exploration.

constantly sitting at desk & continue monitoring the screen will get them aniexy & pressure for completing the task. which is not even a good thing for a yound kid.

Also, its an fundamental right for childrens to study & play enjoy some time at ground & floor with other kinds of activities then only the children can be with active kind of mind & physically fitness is also an important thing which each & every child should has strong fitness.

As per my experience formal learning is good but its should not get implementing 100% 40 % is quiet enough than only children can take & participate in different kinds of activities.

How much the children will get an exposure of outdoor or floor it will help them to be active mind of state. Formal learning can create uneccessary stress to the people ill expect there are many more things which they have to explore.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you argue that children need both learning and play. You address both parts of the prompt, explaining that continuous study can affect concentration and that physical activity supports children’s wellbeing. The example of mathematics and science gives some relevant support, and your personal view adds a further reason. However, several points remain general or unclear, such as the claim that 40% formal learning is “quite enough”; you do not explain how this proportion would work or why it is appropriate. Develop fewer ideas with specific classroom examples and make the balance between formal instruction and play more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable overall direction, moving from your position to the effects of prolonged study, the value of play, and your personal view. However, progression between ideas is often difficult to follow because paragraphs are not clearly organised and several points are joined in long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “Without any kind of activity” combines concentration, subject difficulty, and mental disturbance without clear steps. Connectors such as “Also” and “As per my experience” help signal additions, but links are sometimes mechanical, and references such as “there” and “it” are unclear. Use distinct paragraphs for your position, reasons, and conclusion, and make each paragraph develop one main point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and children, including “formal learning,” “academic instruction,” “concentration,” “exploration,” and “physically fitness.” This shows some range beyond very basic wording. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes your meaning difficult to interpret. For instance, “prepare the students mind like an Robot” does not express your intended concern naturally, while “mentally disturb” and “active mind of state” are unclear phrases. There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “Yound,” “aniexy,” and “uneccessary.” Build a bank of accurate phrases for discussing wellbeing and learning, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “Without any kind of activity if child only going to focus on learning they will get mentally disturb.” This shows an effort to express cause and effect, but the longer structures are often faulty and can make relationships between ideas hard to follow. Errors include missing or incorrect articles and agreement (“if child,” “each and every child should has”), verb forms (“only going to focus”), and sentence boundaries, as in the lower-case “which” after a full stop. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly formed reason or result, then check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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