Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I completely agree, some individuals believe that basic schools education focus too much on formal learning. It is essensial to play with study, in the primary school classroom. This essay will explain why I hold that opinion.

On the one hand, this is basic level of learning, teachers so much concentrate on students, when they are in primary school. This happens because that is basic and growth level of concepts about the subjects. Childern learns lot of things like how to write, read, and learn about subjects. Primary education is the initial stage of learning. For example: my two cousins was in same class, one of them permote to next class, they have solid concept about the subjects. My second consin jump one class. He is not have solid understanding about the topics. He is work hard but his basic subjects is not clear. That is why school focus on formal learning education.

On the other hand, sprots with study that increases students ability and helps to learn. I think it is important part for students. This is because just with study students bored and their learning ability and interset in subjects decreases. The students who plays sports with study that is more intelligent than those who just study. For instance: my two friends, studies in different schools but in same class level, one of friend was bored and did not interset in studies rather than other friend enjoy with their study and always ready to went to school because one school just focued on education and other focused studies and sports respectively. This is the reason sports is important for students.

To sum up, I firmly believe that formal education help students to learn basic concepts but with that they play games their ability and interset is more increases and also best for health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear from the opening: “I completely agree,” and you address both formal learning and the value of play, especially through the discussion of sports. The examples about your cousins and friends are relevant attempts to support your view. However, the response only partly develops the task: the first body paragraph mainly explains why foundational learning matters, rather than showing directly that schools focus too much on formal learning. The second paragraph argues for sports, but does not explore classroom play more broadly or explain how play supports learning in specific ways. To strengthen the response, make your degree of agreement more precise and develop each main point with a clear explanation linked to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding summary. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your argument. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first moves from teachers’ focus to basic concepts and then to a lengthy family example without clearly connecting each step. Some linking phrases, such as “This is the reason,” are repeated, and the contrast between the two sides is not fully explained. Improve cohesion by beginning each paragraph with one focused claim, then linking the explanation and example directly to it. Clearer references to the people and ideas in your examples would also make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “basic concepts,” “understanding,” and “learning ability,” so the topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “basic schools education,” “permote,” “sprots,” and “did not interset in studies.” Phrases such as “play with study” and “enjoy with their study” are not natural combinations in English. Aim to learn topic-specific expressions in accurate phrases, such as “balance academic lessons with play” and “maintain interest in learning.” Checking spelling and choosing precise words will help you express your ideas more clearly and avoid repetition of “study” and “students.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including explanations with “because” and examples introduced by “For example.” However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and articles occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “Childern learns lot of things” has problems with subject–verb agreement and article use, while “my two cousins was in same class” has agreement and article errors. “He is not have solid understanding” also shows an inaccurate verb construction. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check singular/plural agreement and articles. Once these patterns are more secure, you can use complex sentences more confidently.

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