Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Few people belive that schools are giving to much importance on formal learning and ignore the value of play. I largely disagree with this statement because it is also necessary for scholrs to play.

The first and foremost reason is, nowadays scholars are very unhealthyand having very weak immune system. So schools should also focus on scholars's health and conduct a specific period for scholars to play daily. Schools should also hire some professional teachers who train scholars for tournaments like cricket tournament because some scholar's natural game is outstanding.

To extent, schools should also focus on games which required more than one player because scholar's learn team work and learn how to deal with other player who have different mindset.

Flipping coin to the other side, school should also equally prioritise formals learning because education is the key to success and it also help them to stay in discipline. School's is the place where scholar's spend their most of the time. Scholar learn etequates from school's only.

To conclude, i just want to say that school should focus on formal learning as well as scholar's fitness from primary school, they should balance both criteria equally

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions by discussing the need for play and the continuing importance of formal education, and your position is broadly that schools should balance the two. The examples of daily play, sports coaching and teamwork are relevant. However, the opening says you “largely disagree” with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning, while the rest mainly argues that play deserves more attention; this makes your position difficult to interpret. The reasons are also brief and under-developed, and the response does not meet the required minimum of 250 words, limiting how fully you can explain your ideas. State your view consistently, then develop each main reason with explanation or a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable structure: an introduction, points about play, a contrasting paragraph on formal learning, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “Flipping coin to the other side” helps show that you are considering both priorities. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the paragraph beginning “To extent” follows the health point without explaining how teamwork connects to it, and the opening position does not align clearly with the later argument. Some linking phrases, including “The first and foremost reason” and “To conclude,” are used mechanically. Organise the body into clear paragraphs, each with one central claim, and use transitions that show the precise relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “immune system,” “tournaments,” and “team work,” which helps communicate the main subject. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling or word-choice errors make parts less clear, such as “belive,” “scholrs,” “unhealthyand,” and “etequates.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “importance on formal learning,” “natural game is outstanding,” and “Flipping coin to the other side.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the benefits of play, such as physical wellbeing, cooperation and social skills, would help you explain your ideas with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, for example, “Schools should also hire some professional teachers who train scholars for tournaments,” and you use a conditional-style explanation with “because.” However, the range remains limited, and frequent errors affect accuracy. Examples include “it also help them” instead of “it also helps them,” “scholar’s learn” instead of “scholars learn,” and “School’s is the place” instead of “School is the place.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly in “The first and foremost reason is, nowadays scholars are very unhealthy…” Practise subject–verb agreement, possessives, and sentence construction, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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