Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of the people argue that primary schools focuses too much on formal learning and do not focuses on playing. They are focusing on their better future and learning. They only want children to learn and learn.The school staff teachs them eight hours in school then they give them alot of homework, so they don't have time to play or for going out.

In my opinion, it is very important for kids to play atleast two hours in a day. Because continually learning makes them depressed and bored too. As they get bored, they will stop focusing on there studies and at the end they will get failed. If they are continually focusing on their studies and learning, they will get sick and as a result they will get failed. So there should be a one day in a week for games. School staff should organise a gaming day in school ground. There are many benefits for them. As they will play, they will get happy, healthy and active. And they will focus on their learning and studying too.

Being a students i as well gets bored of continually studying. So then i take a break, i eat something and use my phone to relax my mind and make my mind again ready to do studies. It is very important for children to play everyday. It is very good for mental and physical health. Their body and brain needs to be active too for further studies.

In conclusion, students should also make a plan for how they will spend their day. As well as the staff should also focus on their mental and physical health. Because if they are not physically or mentally active, they will not pay attention o their studies. School staff should also organise daily ten minute exercise for their fitness and as well their brain will be active for the whole day. So the mental health also plays an important role in everyone's life. We should focus on our mental health too.Now aday everyone is busy doing their business, work and job. No one have time to spend with their family, as well as they don"t pay attention to their mental health. Mental health play avital role in our lives. If we are mentally sick then we will can't able to pay attention our work. So we should take care of our mental health as it plays very important role.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you express support for giving children time to play and explain why play matters alongside learning. The points about boredom, motivation, and physical and mental health are relevant, and your personal example of taking breaks helps illustrate your view. However, the response focuses more on the benefits of play than on whether primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning. The suggestion of a weekly games day and daily exercise is useful, but the ideas are not consistently developed with specific explanation or examples. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement clearly at the outset and explain how classroom play can support learning, rather than presenting play mainly as a break from study.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an overall structure, moving from the issue to reasons for play, a personal example, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps separate these stages, and linking expressions such as “In my opinion,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the argument visible. However, progression becomes less clear in the final paragraph, which shifts from school exercise to adults’ work and family life without connecting that discussion closely to the question. Several links are repetitive or mechanical, especially repeated uses of “So” and “As well as.” Some ideas, such as children becoming bored and then failing, are repeated rather than advanced. Group related points more tightly and use clearer references between sentences to make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “mental and physical health,” “focus,” and “exercise.” These terms show awareness of the subject, and the reader can generally understand your position. However, the range is limited by frequent repetition of basic words such as “play,” “learning,” “studies,” and “important.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, for example “gaming day,” “get failed,” and “make my mind again ready.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “alot,” “atleast,” and “Now aday” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of natural phrases for classroom activities, wellbeing, and academic performance, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer cause-and-effect structures, for example “As they get bored, they will stop focusing…” This gives the response some variety, and the main message is usually understandable. However, control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences, and errors sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “primary schools focuses” and “The school staff teachs,” incorrect forms in “Being a students i as well gets bored,” and the construction “we will can't able to pay attention.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention, as in “there should be a one day” and the run-on ending “important role.Now aday.” Practise accurate agreement and verb patterns, and divide long sentences into clearly punctuated units.

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